Hi everyone, I've been looking at the posts in this forum for a month or so now so thought I'd introduce myself. My name is Rachel, I'm 26 years old and currently starting my second year of my PhD. Recently I've had quite a few health issues & have been referred to rheumatology, cardiology and others, have positive ANA/ANCA markers - doctors thinking something like fibromyalgia or lupus, POTS, etc - some form of chronic illness. I've been really struggling with that recently - the worst isn't even the pain for me but the fatigue and brain fog, I've found myself finding it super challenging to do more than 1 or 2 things in a day and concentrating is really difficult.
Recently, I found that one of my moles - right on top of my ear, so not a place I check often - had dramatically increased in size, got a few different colours in it (darker brown/black spots and some redness/red patches) and had become quite an uneven shape. My doctor when I was very young told me I needed to be careful and keep an eye on that mole, but I only remembered very recently; I can't remember the last time I checked it, if I'm being honest. I went to the doctor and two doctors said it looked suspicious, and put me on the urgent suspected cancer referral pathway. This was at the end of September. I then had my mole reviewed by a panel of dermatologists who agreed with the GPs' assessments and they then referred me to plastic surgery. I went in and the plastic surgeon was nice enough but not particularly thorough, I was in and out in 5 minutes which included me asking questions. He essentially said my mole didn't look "too sinister" but that it could be cancerous and needed to come off anyway. Then I had to wait just under two weeks to get given a date for the excision biopsy - it's on the 10th November now, so a month and a bit since my first GP appointment. Then of course there will be the waiting after the biopsy to find out... I probably sound really complain-y here but it's just anxiety-inducing, as I'm sure everyone knows.
Basically, I'm finding it really difficult to focus on anything other than this at the minute. And I obviously also have all of these other symptoms going on, that I'm now really worried could be linked to melanoma. The doctors said it would be very unlikely, and it would have to have metastasised in order for me to have the symptoms I've been struggling with, but I'm worried that's completely possible especially given the fact that I don't know how long the mole has been changed. It was once just bigger than a freckle, and now it's over 7mm...
I also feel so strange telling people about this, especially when it could be nothing. The only people I really have around me here are current PhD students - I moved away from home in Scotland to Cambridge for my PhD last year, so I feel that makes things even harder, as I don't have my usual support system as close to me anymore. Also in my experience most people will just say that I'll be fine and not to worry, and I know that 90% or so of urgent referrals don't end up being cancer, but I just have a gut feeling that it is, it has so many of the markers for melanoma. My mum had cancer when she was 30 or so (not skin cancer) and she was super dismissed so maybe it's a trigger/worry point for me that people automatically assume that I'm fine?? Idk if it's wrong of me but it just doesn't always feel reassuring to hear that from people I tell... I don't know if that's anyone else's experience? It also feels strange telling other people what I'm experiencing, because even though it's impacting me daily it feels weird telling someone I *might* have cancer especially when so many people don't end up having it.
Anyway this post was much longer than I expected but I feel like this is such a helpful space and I guess I just wanted to vent a bit to people who get it! I hope everyone's having an okay weekend <3
from Glasgow. I'm in the same boat, had 1 on my back and wasn't paying enough attention to it and my my now husband had said around 2 years ago it looked quite dark, brushed it off and said yea I'll keep an eye on it (who looks at their back) in June this year I asked the dr, she said to keep an eye on it but it had changed alot, I only knew from photos, showing all the bad signs ABCDE, had it removed 4 weeks ago, was initially told 6 to 10 weeks for results, now 12. You are not being silly or worrying over nothing, only someone who has been through it will understand, it is terrifying. My advice, stay off Google, I brought on several panic attacks doing this, was checking my lymph nodes, found a lump at my breast and was convinced I had stage 4 melanoma, turned out to be breast tissue in an ultrasound. Hopefully you get your results soon, it's great on here to share and get advice but don't ever feel silly or alone as there are plenty of people to help. Is it possible to go home for a few weeks or speak to family or close friends? I really found this helped as on my own I was going into a meltdown, support is so important. Sending love and hope you are doing OK x
