I'm worried about my wife

Hi Colin. Sorry to hear you and your wife are going through this. You’ve come to a good place for information and support. I’m a few weeks ahead of your wife getting my results and diagnosis on 4 February.  The dermatologist who removed my suspicious mole (and a second one I hadn’t been concerned about) was pretty sure it was a melanoma but the waiting for results was still an awful time.  What helped me in the end was to think about what the possible outcomes could be at the appointment - either neither mole were melanomas (unlikely given the doctor’s opinion at the first appointment) or one/both were melanomas and I would find out what would happen next.  I was still very anxious waiting in the waiting room but the dermatologist and nurse who I spoke with afterwards were fantastic and very supportive, answering all my questions and explaining what would happen next and why. It may help to think about what you want to know and write your questions down as it’s easy to forget. Your wife is very lucky to have a supportive husband like you. Take care x

Thank you so much, Tinkerbell. Very good news that you were given the all clear and immediately your reply has given my a lift with hope and positivity. I have the same idea about writing down all the questions. (i have also planned a few questions if melanoma is the case) I'm not convinced they will even let me in the room with her though, due to all of the covid restrictions hospitals are still enforcing. I sincerely hope they do as the thought of my wife on her own getting sat down and told any negative news all by herself makes me upset. I'll be sure to push them into letting me in with her for sure. Fingers crossed it's nothing more than a dodgy looking imposter! Again i want to thank you for your swift and kind reply.

I think most health care settings are still following COVID protocols - I haven’t been allowed anyone in with me for my appointments but I don’t mind that. I like to be able to to deal with things and process them myself first but we are all different. Hopefully you will be allowed to accompany your wife if she needs you with her. I’m glad my reply has been helpful. Both my moles were melanomas so apologies for any misunderstanding but I feel I am in very safe hands with all the health professionals I’ve met so far and I’ve been very lucky with how quickly my treatment has moved along.  Good luck for Wednesday and let us know how it goes x

Sorry Tinkerbell. I've just read over your reply again.That's typical of me. I was born blonde! (although bald now)  So they were both Melanomas then. And yes. that's what i have been telling my misses too. Have some faith that the professionals know what they are doing and will have a definitive plan of action. I've read that the next step is checking for nearest lymph nodes and going from there although i suppose lots of different scenarios are possible. I wish you all the best with any future treatments. You're a kind soul, coming on here helping others when you, yourself are going through similar experiences. You're a trooper you are. Thank you so much! You have given me more strength and i'll be sure to pass that on to her indoors when she needs it.

No problem. Your head is probably spinning a bit at the moment. The other thing that helped me (after doing a bit too much googling and worrying myself sick thinking of worst case scenarios) was that the vast majority of melanoma patients will be treated successfully and go on to lead normal healthy lives. They are probably not the ones who stay around in online groups/forums (I had to leave a Facebook group I’d joined as it scared me stupid but I can be a bit more rational about it now in hindsight).  Treatment options for melanoma have advanced over the last 10-15 years improving prognoses compared to previously but others here are far more knowledgeable and can hopefully share and reassure you. 

Hello Colin,

I am so sorry that you and your wife are going through this worrying time. 

The waiting for results is the part so many of us do find the hardest. It is a real roller coaster of emotion. Like you (what a dear man you are) my husband tried to boost me up along the way. At times as he was trying I just disappeared down a rabbit hole of despair that he struggled to reach! There were times when I was fine and times when I wasn't, he was with me doing what he could to help every step of the way. 

Like your wife I had a large ugly mole on my upper back...2cm. I had gone to the doctor's my story is on my profile. 

Take things a step at a time...you have completed the first bit getting the biopsy, now onto the results. Wishing you both good news for Wednesday. I wasn't allowed to have my husband with me throughout my appointments but knew he was chewing his nails in the car park. Like Tinkerbell says write down your questions. 

This forum helped me so much and there are some lovely people sharing their experiences. 

Xx

@tinkerbell you have written the first post that I have read that’s made me think yip that’s how I felt ! Over googling , scaring  myself senseless the lot. Like you a break from Social media ( nearly a year now I have been off Facebook) and distancing myself from forums has helped me immensely. Your comment about those people are not on forums etc as they are away leading normal lives was Mentioned to me a while back and genuinely I had never thought of it like that x This forum I now only pop into know and again as some of the stories and other peoples worries were just to much for me. 
I can honestly say it’s been the worst year of my life but now I am allowing myself to think that maybe just maybe the end is in sight. 
My story is there for you to read if you wish. Colin worried hubby I wish you and your wife well and if she needs you in with her ( like I did ) when I got my results then plead your case, My husband took information on board that I never even heard come out the surgeons mouth. 

Thanks Amccl - it’s really hard at times to keep things in perspective isn’t it? I’ve read your story and it sounds like things are looking really positive for you so thank you for sharing. We sometimes need to read more positive stories I think, not to hide from the possible outcomes but to give perspective to this horrible place we all find ourselves in.  I’ve taken the week off work this week to recover from my WLEs (and failed SLNB!) and spending rather too much time here/googling.  Take care x

Colin - I’ve been thinking of you and your wife this morning. I really hope things go ok for you. Please come back and let us know how things go. Wishing you all the best x

Hi Colin worried hubby and how are you and your wife doing today?

I think from your post your wife will have had her results now. How did it go?

x

It’s very hard indeed I have been at my worst of the last year but making small changes has helped me. Nerves have kicked in for me today as I have my 4 month Ct scan tomorrow ( a bit late as a few weeks ago they couldn’t get a vein so hoping for better tomorrow ). Please don’t over google it doesn’t do you any good xx read your post above and keep that positivity going x