My mum has been diagnosed with Melanoma

Hopeful90,

Keep being the loving, supportive person you are for your mum. The love you share will get you both through this cancer experience. My son is 31 and has been a tremendous positive influence for me. He listens when I talk about various studies and where I fall into risk categories. He has also recommended supplements such as Vitamin D and CBD capsules. Five months after starting pembrolizumab I had a followup scan which showed excellent partial response to some nodules, and complete response in other nodules. This was when I could breath a sigh of relief that the treatment is working. That was a long five months of uncertainty but it does take time for the immunotherapy to work, we have to be patient with the patient! 

Best wishes on your mum's treatment, 

Cindy

Hi Hopeful90,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis. She sounds like a wonderful lady.

I understand some of what she is going through. I was diagnosed with melanoma 3 1/2 years ago and truly thought my days were numbered too. Then I met people who had recovered from melanoma and others who were doing well on long term treatments. There are lots of examples here on this site. Share some of them with her. Melanoma has a bad reputation but treatments have made incredible progress in recent years. 

Be patient with her dark days and her depression. It does not mean that she is giving up, just facing up to one of the possible outcomes and expressing her fears which is perfectly normal.

She does not have to go into treatment with a positive attitude for a good result. This is a sad myth and cancer patients bear the brunt of it. We feel obliged to carry everyone around us along on a wave of optimism we don't truly feel. Being down now might make it more difficult on a day-to-day basis, and harder for you too, but it is unfair to expect her to wave a magic wand and suddenly be cheerful about this. Certainly things might improve when treatment starts. It is always reassuring to know that you are taking action. This period leading up to diagnosis and until treatment starts is very tough.

My melanoma was local so I did not need immunotherapy. I did go through chemotherapy for breast cancer in 2011 in a very negative frame of mind and I still got a good outcome. No problems since.

So what can you do? Share some stories from here. Encourage her to stay in touch with friends and family. Listen to and acknowledge her fears if that is what she wants to discuss. Encourage her to go out for walks, to do the things she enjoys and to live her life as normally as possible. 

And of course make sure you are getting support too and take care of yourself.

Thinking of you

Miranda

Thank you Miranda for your words. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. 

I wonder if you could point me in the right direction for the examples on this site?

Sorry you have too experienced some bad health and I hope you are on the road to recovery now? 

I have taken on your words and believe this will make me stronger for my mum until treatment starts. 

Thank you very much xx

Thank you for your kind words Cindy. It is encouraging to hear your treatment is going well. I wish you more better health for the future. 

Is there anything my mum can do to help in the immunotherapy treatment? With covid we have been discussing shielding, did you do the same? 

Thank you again xx

Hi Hopeful90 and Latchbrook,

I am very well now thank you, despite going down cancer boulevard twice. 

latchbrook I am not very good at searching on this site. Do you have any search tips for Hopeful90. Immunotherapy would probably be a good word to search for and you could scan through old posts. 

I hope your mother's treatment goes well. We'll be thinking of her and of you next week.

Best wishes

Miranda

I don't do anything special to help my T-cells respond to the immunotherapy treatment. I have always had a healthy diet and keep physically fit, so that has not changed. Thankfully, side effects are minimal and does not stop me from living like I want to except with COVID restrictions. I live in Pennsylvania, USA, and we do have travel and business restrictions. Most of the time my son grocery shops for me, we order online for many purchases, and my brother's family is in my "bubble" of social contacts. Keep us posted on how your mom does, best wishes! Cindy

Hi Hopeful90

I've just spotted that Miranda2 has asked me to explain to you how to use the search function in the group to search for things like immunotherapy, so here I am

The search function is slightly different depending on what type of device you're using. If like me you use a laptop, scroll to the top of the page and type 'immunotherapy' into the search bar next to the magnifying glass.

If I used my phone I'd again scroll to the top of the page but this time click on the magnifying glass and then type in 'immunotherapy'.

In both cases it will bring up any previous posts which have the search word in.

I hope this helps

x

Hi Hopeful90

I was wondering how your mum was getting on with the immunotherapy she's having for her melanoma?

I'm also hoping that you have got help to manage your depression which must be very debilitating for you.

x

Hi Latchbrook,

Thanks for reaching out. She responded really well to the first treatment which was at the start of this month. However, her stomach is really bothering her this week and her gp have given her anti sickness tablets that really don’t agree with her. It makes her really tired. She is also experiencing a tight chest but the Macmillan nurse said this will be due to the immotherapy side effects. 

It’s really hard seeing her so ill and I can’t do a thing. Not sure what can help my mind set when I see her like this. 

Hi Hopeful90

I'm glad to hear your mum is responding well to the immunotherapy but feeling tired because of the anti-sickness tablets must be unpleasant for her. Has she told her team this as I'm sure there are lots of different anti-sickness tablets that can be prescribed? Hopefully, they can find some that won't make your mum feel tired.

You might benefit from also joining the family and friends group which is a safe and supportive place to discuss your feelings with others who have a loved one living with cancer. If you think you might like to do this clicking on the link I've created will take you straight there.

x