Feeling overwhelmed and miserable

Hi Wanda62

Welcome to the Online community and the Melanoma group.

I am sorry to hear of your melanoma and the treatment that has followed. Being diagnosed and going through cancer treatment can be tough even with support from your husband. It is very normal to feel overwhelmed and at times miserable. Especially when you have gone through 3 surgeries, are in pain and you are unable to go about your normal everyday things. 

I know what you mean about the weather- we have had a miserable few months with dark evenings, lots of drizzle and now it is improving you can't get out and do what you would like to do. 

Can you go out and sit in the garden at lease and get a bit of fresh air. I know that helps me. I know you can't put weight on your foot and are limited but I wonder whether with your husbands support you may be able to pot up a few bedding plants or tend to some hanging baskets for eg- especially if you have a table outside. 

Venting is important and can really help when you are feeling frustrated. During my recovery from a different cancer- I tried to get outside as much as I could and tried to focus on what I was able to do rather than what I couldn't. For me it was short times and building up- for you it would possibly involve finding things you can do sitting down. But the fresh air helped me. 

I understand that your emotions feel all over the place and I remember the swings of one minute feeling positive and the next worrying about the future. But as I recovered from the surgery and then the treatments, things did start to settle a bit. I still have off days- I think that is common. If at any point you feel that chatting things through would help, then please do consider giving the Support Line a call. The details are below. 

I hope this helps a bit. I wish you well with your recovery and hope that you are able to start to go outside and spend some time enjoying your garden- even if you are unable to do so much this year. 

Jane

Hello Wanda62  I have just read your post and noticed it's gone unanswered.  A third operation! You are having your money's worth and 13 years in the system, wow - I do hope this last one sorts you out. I have a different cancer and have only been on my journey 28 months so 13 years is a long time to cope with issues. It's great you have your husband for support and I hope with the weather slightly better (we have sun in Oldham!!) you are feeling better.

By me replying your post will return to the top of the forum and should be seen by other members of the Community and i hope you receive some more replies.

Best wishes for a full recovery - Brian.

I’ve found I’m able to just be myself on here. I come on when things are rubbish and also when they get better. But it is one big rollercoaster.

There are only so many box sets we can watch before we want to be out and about, I’ve became an avid people watcher since I’ve slowed down, and I love it. I sit at my huge kitchen window watching the sun sea & sky, I’m sure my neighbours think I’m a peeping Tom, but it’s my favourite place and has been since my diagnosis.

I’m in a fishing village called Johnshaven. It’s a beautiful place, with sea views that are good for my soul.

Hi jane2511 Thank you for your reply. It's weird .. I'm not in shock like the 1st time i was diagnosed.  I feel more like numb really. It's certainly a new emotion for me, but I guess each diagnosis brings its own set of feelings. 

Today was actually an up day so I'll take that as a win. Neighbour has loaned me a wheelchair and hubby pushed me over to the park yesterday which was just awesome! Since my original ovarian cancer diagnosis (before the melanoma which seems like a lifetime ago), I really do appreciate small things in life. Simply sitting in the park in the fresh air watching the world go by .. bliss :)

Great idea to plant up some pots. The local garden centre is certainly going on my list of places to go when I've got a bit more energy! Thanks for that suggestion x

Hi Millibob 

Thank you for your reply. Yeah you are right .. I do like to get my money's worth. Heheh that made me giggle :). As you can probably tell from my upbeat tone, today's been a pretty ok kind of day :)

But hey let's not forget that your 28 months is still a fair amount of time too. It's all a tough ride no matter how long we are on this roller-coaster xx

Hi Hevallan Thank you for your reply.  Hey nothing wrong with watching the world go by.  In fact I did just that yesterday when hubby wheeled me over to the park opposite and I sat in the fresh air with the biggest smile on my face :)

Hope you are enjoying the sea today xx

Hi Wanda62  - Magic - you have had a great day - little things matter, and I know that this Cancer thing can really be a bummer sometimes.  It's only people who suffer from cancer and their family who "get" where we are coming from.

I hang around on the Prostate forum and we have plenty of humour (some dark!!) on there but it lightens the load hence

Millibob said:

You are having your money's worth

was said with good intentions. I am pleased it got a giggle.

I do hope you improve and have many more "up days"

Kind Regards - Brian.

I think feeling numb is a normal reaction and have heard it from many people on here. 

Am glad that you had a good day yesterday and was able to go to the park and get some fresh air. I found it was one of the things that really helped me during my recovery. I found the worst thing was to be inside and not doing anything. Even sitting in the garden helped. 

I am lucky to live 5 minutes from a garden centre and often go and have a wander around and visit the cafe. Mine is just putting out some bedding plants so its an ideal time to start thinking about potting up some plants or hanging baskets. And a lot of that can be done whilst sitting and your husband can help with any lifting or moving things around. I wonder if getting one of those little spray bottles could help and then you could help with watering. 

Just hope we all start getting a bit of sunny and warm weather. Still a bit up and down here but the sun is out this am in Somerset.

Jane

I'm in Somerset too jane2511 . Just moved here 18 months ago and loving it! 

Do you know where the nearest Maggies is? I could only find them in Wales or Southampton when i looked on their website. I've heard some very positive feedback about them. Or is there another drop in centre like Maggies that you know of? Thank you again x

I believe those are the closest to Somerset.

I will pop a link below to some in Somerset but if you call the Support Line they would be able to do a search in your local area to find the nearest.

Somerset and Local In-person Cancer Support Groups - Cancer services (somersetft.nhs.uk)

You could also ask your CNS/Macmillan at the hospital you are attending.

Jane