Non primary metastatic melanoma stage 3 lymph node groin

Hi Rescueme, welcome to the online community, although of course I’m sorry that you have had to join us.

I’m KTatHome, I had no primary found as well, it had metastasised to my pelvic and abdominal nodes back in 2015. I have had one lymph node in the groin removed in October for a clinical trial, but have other areas of cancer that are being treated by targeted therapy tablets. 

It must be difficult processing the info your self and then having to relay it to you 14 year old. My children were 25 and 27 when I had my diagnosis. 

Macmillan have some information I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet, I’ve put the link down below incase it help.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/diagnosis/talking-about-cancer/talking-to-children-and-teenagers

I have heard from comments on here that telling the school helps as they will be of support for your child if they need it and be on the look out for them needing help, and there’s a charity called riprap mentioned in the Macmillan info to help children and teenagers. 

Things will hopefully seem brighter when you have a plan and you are progressing through it. It sounds like you may have melanoma in just one lymph node and caught things early for a non primary. There’s another post on here from someone with melanoma of an unknown source that you might want to pop into and say hello to DaisyRed if you haven’t already done so.

Thank you KTatHome that link really gave me strength to tell my daughter , we are on day three of this nightmare , we are having a family weekend away I’m so sad how this is impacting on my family and friends my partner and my daughter

Rescueme, so sorry to hear your diagnosis. Mine is 3c, found in end March last year.It is so hard to tell our loved ones, I put off telling my daughter until she heard a phone message about my prospective surgery.    I tried to be as matter if fact about it as possible, told her only what I knew.  I hope your 14 yr old daughter coped ok and had natural reaction to your news hon.  

It is initially such a shock to hear that you have cancer, I cried for a week.  It is good to share the news so you can be supported by those who care for you and so you are not alone in coping with all that this entails.   

You've obviously had a biopsy of your lymph gland so that's the first step.  Your meeting on the 7th will hopefully be to discuss the next steps, scans probably and adjuvant treatment.  That's all the practical stuff.  Emotionally life has changed and probably feels completely skewed.  

I hope your weekend away is a gentle, relaxed and kind time for you and your family.  Please remember that whilst you are in shock now do not Google your diagnosis/ treatment or look at statistics.  Lots of info is out of date now online and whilst there's not been enough time to research/ do long studies into effects of, the new immunotherapy medicines are showing really positive results as you will see on this site.  It has certainly lifted my spirits as my knowledge was based on nursing in the 80's when there was no successful treatments around. 

Seven doses into my immunotherapy IV meds I am feeling more positive re my prognosis.  My daily life has returned to a "new normal" and is no longer controlled by my diagnosis.  

Take care of yourself and stay as positive as you can hon xx

Hi Rescueme, happy to be your friend hon.  Just caught up on your profile and I can see you are busy with plans.

The skiing trip sounds wonderful and  excellent timing for your daughter too as it shows her that real life carries on regardless even when we feel our world has collapsed!    Sometimes I do want the world to stop and shout ' hey everyone this stuff is unfair to me, how can you all carry on as normal!'.   But of course they do, I do most of the time too.  Had a great time today in the charity shop I work in- Saturday is always '70's music day so I can dance and sing a little and I'm still winning over customers with it

I'm hoping your weekend is going ok, please feel free to message me anytime, on here or as a friend of mine. Thinking of you all xx

I am away with my family I have had an amazing day with my 78 year old dad showing the grandchildren where he grew up at the coast , I have had to come to bed and leave my daughter with my parents sister snd family and my partner it’s too sad for me and I don’t want to breakdown in front of them all this weekend but the holiday house we are staying at has a hot tub snd log fire so being really spoilt and am grateful it just can’t shake off the Will this be my last weekend as I am .

Thank you for sharing your stories. 

My mum had a secondary melanoma removed in October but found out on Friday that her lymph nodes are swollen and she is being booked in to have them removed. I just hope she doesn't have to wait long as her management is littered with one poor decision after another. She is 67.

Best wishes, x

Hi Tids thank you for your message is your mum on the forum it would be good to share this together if she wanted too I think that would help us both but more then happy with being friends abd following you .

best wishes to you too x 

Hi, no she isn't as she is not very tech savvy!! 

I hope you enjoyed the rest of your weekend with your family. These times are so very special. We are all going away in April. Fingers crossed xx