Hello peoples, I’ve been thinking lately how apt my KT at Home choice of user name is at the moment, being in the shielding group I haven’t ventured out for ages. I haven’t been in my car since a blood test in March at a village 10 miles away, except for turning the car around in the drive (for the tyres sake) and running the engine (for the battery’s sake). I have a small open front garden and it annoys me if I go out to weed I have to step back when people walk past as they would not be 6ft away. Anyway I’ve digressed as usual.
I am going out on Friday for a scan, I decided to delay my 6 weekly Pembro til July when given the choice so I missed April’s dose and last weeks dose but I can feel a lump in my groin nodes area again and so have contacted my team to tell them and I have a scan date of Friday to see what’s going on. To give them their due it could have been earlier but for the fact at my last scan I had to go to the vascular unit to have a temporary line put in, so my scan is going to be when they are open in case they have trouble with the cannula again. I really hope that doesn’t happen.
I’ve been told I have to go into the waiting area on my own, we will sit 2m apart in the waiting area, and I’ll be given a mask a wear, that the results aren’t taking long, and I can see I have a results appointment already booked for a few days later. The car park is free at the moment so I won’t have to queue to pay, my husband is offering to come and sit in the car, my scans with contrast mean I’ll be in there for about 90mins plus the walk there and back. I think he should drive to where there is a Pokemon gym and make full use of his waiting time. I could drive the hour there and back on my own but if they put a temp line in again I know I felt awful afterwards and didn’t feel like driving home in fact I slept most of the way back and on the sofa afterwards.
I’m not a crafty person, in the sense I don’t sew, knit or crochet but I have been looking at lots of DIY Mask you tube videos to see if I feel comfortable hand sewing one. My husband has donated me an old T-shirt and I have some elastic in a sewing box priced in pencil at 1s 6d which made me laugh it was from my home towns “haberdashery” which also made me laugh. I have got as far as deciding what pattern to copy cut some of the T shirt up and promptly ordered some ready made ones off the Internet.
I might in the spirit of scanxiety distraction, keep occupied by making one in case the Internet ones don’t arrive for Friday. Actually I am not feeling the usual scanxiety of what they might find, as I can feel the lump and I have in the back of my mind that the last few times a groin lump for me has been not as much of a panic as it once was, it hasn’t meant a spread to other organs (yet) after my complete response after it being in many nodes and an ovary, just the same area of nodes. Yes I’ve had thoughts float by but not thankfully linger about not having a full node dissection, and what if it’s offered this time !. My husband likes horror films so the thought of a zombie film breakdown an hour away from home has floated past aswell. I have also imagined a sense of anxiety of walking past people and of walking in the sun as I haven’t done either for a while.
I know I’m in control at the moment otherwise I wouldn’t be posting my insecurities here, I’d be in an anxiety fog where my head would just be farting around, sorry I just laughed and noticed that slip it should have been darting! but thought I’d leave it in ! I just thought I’d been quite for a bit and wanted to show that blips happen, at first I didn’t want to share blips as I wanted to be a beacon of Hope a bit like Tim90’s blog. The site though is all about support and telling it as it is, not everyone has plain sailing and I know I wanted to read how bad it could get as well as the good news stories. So here I am with that strange mix of positivity and apprehension going on.
If anyone has been to hospital recently and has an experience good or bad to share, or if you have made a mask be it a complete disaster or you tube worthy, or have your own coping stories to tell Please share below by hitting the reply button.
Hi Sailor2, that’s what this one is like. 
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At the start of lockdown I ordered the exercise bike for me, but of course we share it. I have it looking out of the patio windows and have moved it outside into the shade at times as well it’s peaceful hearing the birds. I have been up to 12k in 45 mins on the bike, it’s boring but listening to music at the same time makes it more bearable although outside I feel embarrassed to sing along, where as in the house I can be noisy.
My husband got the hammock when he saw sky at night using one and his intention is to look at the stars. I was invited to have a go and share it and was very dubious. I am a convert now that I have learnt the back of climbing in and out. Is it difficult for you at the moment with your stitches, it’s a good way to keep your leg elevated though. I have neighbours who play Pokemon and so yesterday 5 of us arranged over what’s app to do a Pokemon remote raid from our houses all together. Normally we would have to walk to the Pokemon gym but yesterday I lay in the hammock tapping away and caught the Pokemon that got away from me last week. I am not a reader but I can imagine myself sitting in the hammock reading in the times my husband has a teleconference and I feel I should be quiet. The swinging is peaceful at times to, I’m secretly hoping my phone thinks I’m walking when I do that but I haven’t checked !
So if I’m thinking of 3 good things...
1. I saw a Red Kite
2. I caught my elusive pokemon
3. I am so lucky to have the companionship of my husband, and virtually my neighbours and the group on here.
