Scared and waiting to be checked

Hi  

Welcome to the group. Let’s hope it’s nothing serious!

I used the skin vision app too which prompted me to get my red mark checked out. Mine had been there for a good few years (5ish) and was diagnosed at stage 1a when it was removed, so try not to overly panic about the 18 months.

Extra stress and uncertainty isn’t what anyone needs right now is it? I think you’re going to be in for a slow wait though if the dermatologist decides to biopsy, I think a lot of the labs are somewhat overwhelmed right now. Probably a good idea to ask how long they anticipate the wait to be so you know what you’re dealing with.

However at the end of all that, it might be just a normal mole. I know telling you not to worry is pointless, but we’re all very good at lending an ear...

Best wishes,

Kate

Hi Natty,

I know from experience that the more you read , the more you scare yourself. Have a read of my profile , I left my mole for a long while , and it did start to evolve. It was also bigger than they say is safe. When the dermatologist told me he couldn’t rule out melanoma I was shocked and worried about how long I’d waited to get it checked. When it was removed and confirmed as melanoma it was 1.4mm and I will always wonder if I’d got it checked before would I have needed all the surgery I’ve had. Anyhow , someone in a similar position replied to me at that time. So I thought I’d do the same for you .. they said that they’d had theirs for a long time and contrary to what you read had not gone rampaging round their body , it was in fact not as thick as mine. I’m still waiting to hear if mine has spread , but if it has it’s rare at my depth. Only a 15% chance , so until I know otherwise I’m staying positive. I’ve read a lot of stories, each one is different ..  you will be too but the length of time you’ve had it doesn’t necessarily correlate with depth from what I’ve seen. In fact I’m sure I read a study that said the same. The not knowing is the worst part of all of this , there is loads of help on here to get through that. Hang in there x

Hi Kate,

Your message has really reassured me. Thank you so much for replying and telling me what you went through. It means a lot. Hopefully if my mole is cancerous I’ve caught it early enough. Dr Google has had me a nervous wreck today so it’s reassuring that your 5+ years still “only” (apologies for being glib but I can’t think of a better way of putting it) resulted in a stage 1a.

Good idea to ask about lab wait times, I’ll definitely remember to do that. 

Thanks again for lending an ear. I’ll keep you updated once I have my appointment. Hopefully in the circumstances it goes ahead...

Natalie

Hey Ajs2a,

I totally agree, I’ve scared myself silly and worked myself up into such a tizz by obsessively reading this afternoon. I knew in the end I needed to hear from people that have actually gone through it and had real life experiences - that was the only way I was going to calm down. It seems to have worked for now so hopefully I’ll get some sleep tonight. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me and reassure me. I really am so grateful. And you’re right, it’s the not knowing, the being in limbo, and the way my brain works...well... I’m my own worst enemy and tend to think the worst. It’s bad I know. Anyway, thank you again xx 

Hi , welcome to the online community and unfortunately the long uncertain wait. You’ve already had some great replies, I just thought I’d say hello to. I was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma (melanoma that had spread) in July 2015, prior to my diagnosis a CT scan had picked up many enlarged nodes and my original biopsy was to rule out lymphoma, so when the results came back as melanoma I laughed thinking they must be wrong as I have never had moles and I hadn’t had an area of skin I’d been suspicious of, and a dermatologist check didn’t find anything after my diagnosis. The conclusion was that my own immune system had dealt with it, and now I’m on immunotherapy Pembrolizumab to help my immune system continue to deal with it. 

You said you’re your own worst enemy with how your brain works, so I thought I’d offer an alternative brain point of view. Well done brain for picking up a potential melanoma problem, and for starting the action to get it sorted if it is melanoma. You will have lots of potential waits now, waiting for a dermatology appointment, possible wait for an excision and the results, and then the possible wait for a further wider excision and possible sentinel lymph node biopsy, none of which I have had. I have had a lot of waiting for biopsy results and a lot of waiting for scan results though to know that putting the uncertainty and coping with the waiting is at times difficult.

Today my mind wants to compare the waiting and uncertainty to me in the back of a car saying are we there yet, and that the journey home never seems as long as a journey there as we know what to expect. (I’ve just been away to the sea for a few days) So for me it’s natural to want to find out a bit about the journey ahead and expect the worst and be prepared for it. I also know that the journey is nicer if you can relax and occupy yourself and only ask if we are there yet when we know we can get an answer. So the skill of parking a worry, I feel is very valuable, a reward for the brain to have a rest so that it can then deal with the next uncertainty nearer the time. Sometimes I need a little help getting to the parking stage though, and sometimes that means swinging to the what ifs and then letting them pass by as the what ifs don’t help if I have good news, and the what ifs don’t help if I spend too long worrying as that does not help my brain or my immune system. So like a kid in the back of a car I have to find something to occupy or relax or enjoy or educate myself with. A bit off topic but have you seen the advert with a woman driving and in the back of the car are not kids but an arguing m and m bar of chocolate, I think it’s hilarious. 

I think that this group is great to have an opportunity to chat with others who can give us personal experience of the journey they’ve had, (which may or may not be the same), or to just have someone to listen to our insecurities and uncertainties, and say they understand.

I hope that makes sense, that you can congratulate yourself for taking action now and hopefully improve the skill or increase the many possible ways of handling the uncertainties that life and possibly melanoma throw at us. 

Hi KTatHome, thank you for replying and telling me your story. I like your analogy about waiting being like a journey in a car - it is SO like that. And I have seen that advert hehe!

Exactly. I was talking to my husband about it last night and, while supportive, he was very much like “there’s no point worrying until you know more”. And I understand that, but it’s easier said than done. I wish my brain worked that way but it doesn’t. Though like you say, maybe if it did then I wouldn’t be dealing with it now and things would be a lot worse down the line. 

I really hope my appointment on Wednesday goes ahead so that I can at least take things forward and feel like I’m moving things in a direction that gives me some answers. Being in limbo is hard!! xxx

Fingers crossed for you for Wednesday. 

I had two marks on my shins one one each leg! One for years and years! The other for a good few years, never took any notice of them, then just before 2019 the one on the left shin started to bleed ,I put a plaster on it ,and as my sister was in the hospice,and I was spending my days with her I forgot about it, it wasnt till I removed plaster,it stayed put when I showered!! I saw it was sticky and crusty and thought prehaps I should get it looked at, the dermatologist was more interested in the one that hadn’t bleed ,I had a biopsy on both legs the one that hadn’t bleed was a rodent ulcer ,not to worry about,but the other one was mm, what a shock, I had wide  incision op and it was a 2A stage no further treatment,check up every 3 months due for one next week, coming up for a year now and hopefully all is well good luck it’s frightening,but you will cope your brain is making it seem a lot worse