Hi everyone - my lovely mum was diagnosed with primary lung cancer last week. She is T1a but unfortunately it’s already spread to the chest valves and a single lymph node. Although she’s 79, she’s super fit and healthy, as well as asymptomatic, aside from a swollen lymph node.
Whilst the diagnosis was such a shock (it still is) and we were hardly jumping for joy, we left the appointment with the chest consultant and McMillan nurse actually feeling hopeful and even optimistic. The message was very much that whilst it’s incurable, it’s treatable.
2 days later, I phoned the McMillan nurse. The dark thoughts were creeping in and I needed reassurance that I’d heard correctly. She reassured me that they’re very much looking at treating mum so she can live with this and that treatments can be highly effective.
We’re currently waiting for the oncology appointment where we hope to get a treatment plan and we’re doing our best to remain positive because we were told to. We’ve been told by the medical professionals we’ve seen so far that we have plenty of reason TO feel hopeful and positive.
Yet literally nobody else is. The people I’ve told reply back in the most negative of ways. Telling me they’re here for me “when the time comes.” Telling me stories of their own relative with the same thing who died after 2 months, to make the most of this Christmas and to be strong.
Even my friend who is a nurse is being quite negative I know people mean well but it’s so hard
I’m not looking for false hope. Or burying my head in the sand. But I’m also trying not to write my mum off. Instead of feeling positive, I’m not expecting the oncologist to say anything encouraging anymore, despite being told otherwise.
I feel bereft. I feel on the verge of a panic attack at all times, even though I’m doing my best to stay calm. I don’t really know what I’m hoping for here but just some glimmer of hope
Hi HelenCG and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read about your mum's diagnosis and I know how much a cancer diagnosis can affect the whole family.
I'm not a member of this group but noticed that your post hadn't had any replies. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.
While you're waiting for replies, it would be great if you could put something about your mum's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
