Diagnosed today just stunned

Hi

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, I also had adenocarcinoma but was able to have surgery, I'm sure someone will be along with advice about chemo/radiotherapy.  It's a lot to take in when you get your actual diagnosis, it all feels surreal, especially if you're not feeling unwell.  And please don't ever feel embarrassed about being a smoker as if somehow you deserve to get cancer, no one deserves that. I told family and friends as tests and everything were underway, almost forewarned them that this might be what it way, I almost tried to say that it was bad news, I had cancer but good that treatment was available. Try to stay positive,  I do think it helps, but also have a rant when you need to, your emotions will probably be all over the place. I felt once treatment started that I was in good hands and that something was being done. Take care xx

Hi I‘m in a similar position but waiting for results of bronchoscopy for staging etc. I‘ve kept a couple of friends up-to-date from the beginning re my CT scan and PET Scan and that I have a 6cm mass in my right lung because I needed to tell someone. I only told my children ( ages 22 and 24) once the cancer had been confirmed and that was the most difficult thing I‘ve ever had to do. I still haven’t told my elderly parents because they are not well either. I understand the stigma with the lung cancer because although  I‘ve never smoked people keep saying things like how did you get it? - and I don’t know. If I had breast cancer they wouldn’t be asking that. Well done for giving up smoking 14 years ago. I‘ve read that after 15 years of not smoking your risk is similar to that of a non smoker. I don’t have any risk factors at all and have still got it so don’t blame yourself. I think we just have to accept where we are at and look forward not back. My only symptom is a cough but most of the time I barely notice it. Some days I don’t cough at all. It‘s really hard to accept the diagnosis. I would try to tell friends and family now that you have the diagnosis. I felt a sense of relief once I‘d told my kids so I expect you‘ll feel the same. 

Thanks AKAFS,

I hope you get your staging results soon and we both start our treatment journey to recovery.
All the very best to you going forward, forward is the only way out of this.

Hello there,

There’s enough going on right now in your life without telling yourself off continually about smoking. I was a smoker too and I tried over and over to give it up. It was so difficult but finally, not long before I was diagnosed I managed to give it up! Forgive yourself, please.

I told my family when I had a firm diagnosis. I made a family group on messenger, explained what was happening and asked them not to call until tomorrow! I told them I was sending a email as well. I didn’t send it for a few hours. In the meantime I wrote a family email explaining far more about how it was discovered and the proposed journey. I sent it late at night as I didn’t want to discuss it right then. They all phoned the next day, said how sorry they were and asked how I was. I think everyone was more upset than me as I’d half expected it. The waiting for treatment plan and the treatment for me was the worst time with the uncertainty.

I’d already asked my dedicated cancer nurse if I could pass on her telephone no and email as one daughter lives in NZ and may have wanted to ask questions. I gave the number to all the children. We then just talked when they needed to and I kept them updated by using messenger. I still use it now to give progress reports.

I hope my experience may help and I think everyone has their own way of telling and talking to their family. Wishing you all the best 

Daisy x

Hi Daisy

so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. 
whenever I have chats with consultants or nurses I FaceTime my family in Holland. There are normally 4 or 5 of us on the calls and the staff are fine with it. Everyone can ask questions that at the time that I can’t think of. I also record every conversation in case I miss anything important discussed as my head is all over the place. I wish you all the best on your journey and feel free always to ask anything you don,t understand.

sending love and strength xx

caroline

Hi Bestboy

So very sorry that you have cause to be on here.

As an ex-smoker I too was diagnosed with lung cancer back in 2011.  I adopted the attitude that 'what is done is done'; I knew the risks and yet still smoked until 3-4 years prior to my diagnosis.  People who care about you will be supportive.

As for telling people; I told my brother straight away. I also had to notify work bosses so that they could sort out cover for me across the many external clients I dealt with, plus I needed time off for the many tests required ahead of the treatment plan..  For the rest, I waited until I had a treatment plan in place, so that all questions/concerns could be answered there and then. I found this approach especially important for the younger people in my life.

Your Oncologist will explain everything to you in as much detail as you need, so no research necessary.  My advice would be; ahead of the appointment  write down questions as and when they pop into your head. Your Oncologist will be used to this. In these circumstances, there is no such thing as a daft question!

I hope this helps a bit.  

Kegsy x

Hello Bestboy,

First of all, don't be hard yourself up for being an ex smoker, it will do you no good at all. I smoked right up to my diagnosis - most of my older relatives (including grandparents and father) smoked and there was no history of lung cancer so I thought I was immune! I can honestly say that not a single person, family, friends or acquaintances, have ever mentioned smoking to me once.

As for telling people, only my wife knew at first and, like Kegsy, I had to tell my boss at work for similar reasons and waited until I had a treatment plan before telling anyone else.

I wish you all the best for successful treatment.

Derek.

Thank you Kegsy for that advice, really appreciate it.