Hi .
I’ve migrated over from oesophageal cancer forum .From 2022 -present day my husband is recovering and hopefully cancer free after a 13 month experience of diagnostics subsequent treatment (FLOT chemo ) and major surgery for Stage 2 OC .
Now unfortunately the family are trying to support my Dad through his own experience with this dreadful disease. During an hospital stay after a fall ( dislocated hip ) it was discovered he had sepsis and after a blood test which prompted a CT scan we have been told he has three large bulky malignancies in his liver , lymph node involvement , pitted bones in the right side of his rib cage and lung cancer .Tests have shown none of these are the primary cancer so at the moment any options for treatment can’t be offered , only pain management and steroids .He is classed at the moment as a CUP patient ( Cancer of Unknown Primary) ..
Totally unexpected but looking back we had noticed a bit of weight loss over the last twelve months and he’d started having afternoon naps , but put it down to his age ( a youthful 83) and he had assured us he felt fine .
Obviously we know his situation isn’t good and the worry is if he was offered any form of chemotherapy or radiotherapy would it be beneficial for him at this stage ? .Of course the decision would be his to make and we’d support him .
Am I wrong and selfish to secretly wish whatever time he has left to be free from the possible side effects of chemotherapy ? I feel if he could be kept pain free we could have some quality time with him .He has minimal pain at present as he takes eight paracetamol a day and has been prescribed oxycodone for any breakthrough pain , which so far he doesn’t have often. He also has a prescribed codeine linctus for a cough which seems to be going worse as time goes by.
I found the OC forum very helpful and supportive when my husband was going through his Cancer experience so I thought I’d reach out on here .
Regards J
Hi JPM welcome to our group, but sorry to hear about your dad, I know how hard it is to see a loved one go through this. My step mum is currently undergoing palliative chemo for ovarian cancer, and like you I was really worried about the side effects, but she has had 5 lots so far, and apart from feeling more tired, she hasn’t had any other side effects. Both chemo and radiotherapy can work really well as a form of pain relief because the tumour shrinks enough to ease the pressure on the nerves that it pushing on, that is what causes the pain, the cancer itself is painless, which is why like your dad he didn’t know it was there.
Your dad’s oncologist will only let treatment go ahead if he believes your dad is strong enough. But it is perfectly normal for you to feel apprehensive. We only want what is best for our loved ones, and not at all selfish to feel this way.
Please let us know how dad gets on.
