Coffee after middle right lobectomy

Hi 1Wilma welcome to the group but sorry you find yourself here. I am glad to hear you are physically recovering well from your op. It does take a long time to emotionally accept what you are going through. This is where this group helps. Here you can chat to other people who fully understand what you are going through. 

That is strange that you can no longer tolerate coffee. How frustrating for you to have the one thing you enjoyed so much taken away from you! I haven’t heard of this happening to anyone else, so will be interesting to see if anyone else has had something similar happen. 

Whenever someone asks us how we are, we so easily reply yes I’m fine. I wonder if this is because we think this is what we think they want to hear. They want to hear we are doing ok, but in fact this is not helping us. It is ok to be honest. If you feel like you are struggling tell them! It really is ok to say “actually I’m not so good today”. They may not want to engage because very often people don’t know what to say to people with cancer, but you will feel better telling them the truth. You may just tell the one person who will allow you to open up and get everything off your chest. A good rant does us good. If you feel you can’t say it in person, then come here and get it all out. You will feel better for doing so. 

Hello, I too am a coffee drinker strong, black no sugar. 

Same for me Wilma! I had an upper right Lobectomy in August 2023 and I’m only just drinking proper coffee again.  Couldn’t stand the thought of it when I came home from surgery.

The lifeline for me was MacMillan counselling. I’m a good listener and problem solver but when it’s me struggling, I can’t seem to verbalise it. For over 2 weeks after my diagnosis I spoke to no one outside the clinical team and my husband and I struggled to speak to him. I just couldn’t bring myself to. There were times when I felt completely overwhelmed and I needed it all to stop. Then my treatment started and I picked up slightly.  On reflection now, these are big surgeries (not as big as some on here, but still). I felt unsure about the outcomes, unsure about further treatment,  cross with some of my family for not taking enough notice, cross with some of the family for taking too much notice…. that rant that Chelle mentions is definitely therapeutic sometimes!

Unpacking all my feelings with a counsellor really helped me and not just in terms of my diagnosis, and yes it all takes time. The bad days come, but they go as well and until they do go I’ve learned to be kind and gentle with myself. Bottom line is it’s absolutely ok not to be ok, I don’t pressurise myself to be relentlessly positive anymore!

Fingers crossed the coffee thing is just a blip, I was gutted but found tea tolerable.

Hello, I too am coffee drinker, strong black no sugar. Whilst having chemo, coffee, garlic on people’s breath and perfume had this effect on me to the point of being sick.. For me over time this stopped and I enjoy all 3 again. There is hope. With regard to second question, funny if you had broken something there would be no problem but because it’s cancer…. My hospital has a good selection of small books one dealing with this problem. Took couple to coffee morning handed them round. Red faces. You will find who really cares in your friends group. I did and she is relatively new in comparison with some of the 20 year plus.The rest not worth it. Alternatively broach the subject and tell them how you are/feel. Good luck with your treatments.

I can totally understand that emotion and wanting to shut away. I’ve always had such a busy full life but there is nowhere better than my sofa after my husband has gone to work!!

Thanks for being so open about how you felt. I don’t think I realised just how massive it is. I am struggling with needy friends too. One friend cries every time she speaks to me and I feel pity from her texts.i asked her yesterday not to contact me until she finds something positive to discuss! Normally im a people pleaser but something inside has cracked!!! 

it’s bizarre about the coffee isn’t it. I like tea but loved coffee. Maybe it’s a good thing and I’ll try and embrace it!

How are you finding things now - did you just continue life in the sane way or have things changed forever for you

Thank you so much for replying. It’s just bizarre!! I would love to know if it’s psychological or taste related!! 

on another bizarre note my cat has moved out. From about October he started acting strange towards me and he if my neighbours told he he Keith going in through her cat flat. He was the most loving cat and over night he would cringe when I went hear him. 

He came hine one night after my operation and sniffed me then hissed and went straight out! This is why I’m thinking the cancer hasn’t been fully cut out and I’m giving off a smell!! It would be so interesting to know! 

I do think it’s the strangest tines that you learn about true friends. I think even if I was worried about a friend I wouldn’t keep crying when I see then!! Maybe we should start a “how to treat friends with cancer “ booklet!! 

Is your treatment all over now ? 

Take care

Oh yes - the sofa and you have the house to yourself- bliss.

Things have definitely changed, life will never be the same. By that I mean, I don’t give time to people I used to (I definitely had big people pleasing tendencies) - I’m a lot more discerning now. That includes some family too, some of whom were sending me “motivational” texts on the morning of my surgery - people were wondering about the mad woman muttering profanities after that text. I’ve used the time to really think about how I wanted to spend whatever time I have left (ages hopefully) and that doesn’t include pandering to idiots or people who leave you depleted in some way. I had a few close friends prior to diagnosis, I have fewer now.

it might sound mad, but having this diagnosis has definitely improved my life in a number of ways by pushing me to reconsider and remedy some of the awful long term situations and relationships I’d allowed to continue, so for that I’m grateful.

Regarding the coffee, I was wondering whether it was an anaesthesia thing.  I still drink tea  when I get up but I can drink a decent freshly ground coffee now without wanting to throw up.

Hope all goes well for you with any future treatment.

I know what you mean and friends and their reactions. Some that I have known for years and thought would be supportive have been nowhere near since diagnosis and others have been in constant contact with funny texts and visits. It is true, you certainly find out who your friends are. Like you a avidknitter I have fewer friends than before but I think they are true friends. As for the others, I'll just quietly let them friendships go. Hope you're doing okay x

Doing good thanks - knitting myself fuzzy when I’m not out walking or in the gym! Off to France for a couple of weeks in March before 6monthly checks start.

Family was the worst for me - I’d just been for the post surgery follow up with the Oncologist who told me - no more treatment just watchful waiting. I was absolutely delighted and sent a text to everyone from the hospital car park letting them know. Next thing my mobile goes from a close relative who was complaining like mad about how difficult life was and the dog who had a stomach upset.  I listened patiently and thought it’s ok she hasn’t received my text.  But then after 15 minutes whining she said “oh and that’s great news for you isn’t it”.  My flabber was definitely gasted, but it was what I needed to hear - my news came after her transport difficulties and canine gastric issues.  I don’t take it to heart but definitely a timely lesson.

Good to tall to you, stops me getting repetitive strain from the knitting x

*talk