My 83 year old dad has small cell lung cancer

Sorry about the prayer emoji, not sure why they are there

Hi ya. I read your post. I'm sorry to hear that things are going a little Pete tong. The only thing I can say is you must stay positive as much as possible. I know it's really hard but please try to be strong and positive. My husband has stage 3 lung cancer and he is 58, never smoked. I feel really deflated as there is only me and him. I stay positive and chirpy, etc. then go to bed and have a good cry. But he doesn't know. Chin up and remember positive thoughts.

Thank you for your lovely message. I really feel for you and anyone going through this journey. That is tough that you are going through this on your own, do you have a good friend to share your worries with?. So far I have found a few friends don't really understand what it's like but then how can they if they haven't experienced this kind of thing. People seem to say some really insensitive things. Sending love and hugs xxx

Hi Cloverleaf28 welcome to the group, but sorry to hear about your dad. It is so difficult when you live such a long way from a loved one who is going through this, but you cannot be in 2 places at once! 
You are right about the friends, no one can understand unless they have been through this themselves. At the start of my diagnoses, I had a large group of friends, who were all very supportive to begin with, but they soon started to dwindle one by one. I just have my one best friend now, who I have been friends with since 11, and a couple of friends that I have made since diagnoses, who have the condition themselves, so they truly understand. One friend, who I had been friends with for years, when I was telling her about my treatment said, oh I thought you were over all that! It just made me realise how self centred some people are, so now I chose my friends carefully. 
There are some really good support groups for anyone going through cancer, or supporting a loved one. The MacMillan centre is usually situated in or close to your local hospital, as is the Maggies centre. Both of these places you can drop in, just for a chat if you are feeling overwhelmed. 
How does dad feel about having the chemo? The hardest thing is having your independence taken away, but chemo will take its toll, and if he is the one doing the work in the house, he will need support. 
It’s a horrible situation for you all to be in. Come here and chat as much as you need too, we do understand some of what you are going through. 

Sorry to hear about your dad, I hope arrangements can be made for him regarding support.

Regarding friends/neighbours etc., I too found support dwindled after my diagnosis many year's ago with breast cancer, also people saying insensitive things.  Year's ago when I had breast cancer, one of my neighbours said to me at the time when I had finished my treatment, "that's good, but it always comes back to get you in the end".  It is at times like this when you find who your real friends are.

I now have lung cancer and the same so called supportive people have disappeared into the background.

Best wishes to you and your dad.

I completely agree regarding "friends".  Year's ago when I had breast I found so called friends dwindled away, some of my neighbours used to actually cross the road to avoid talking to me.

Now with this lung cancer diagnosis the same thing is happening again.  My immediate neighbour who used to be very helpful and did odd jobs around the house and drove me to do shopping etc., has now stopped all contact, some relatives have not even been in touch to wish me well.  I am only getting 100% support off my son, he has a very busy work life and a very young family, but anything I have needed since diagnosis such as hospital visits for tests etc. he has always driven me there and stayed with me throughout.  I don't ask for this off my son, he just wants to do this and give me as much support as possible.  I also have a daughter, but I just get the odd text asking how I am, it's a long story 

Probably when I have finished my treatment and hopefully all is well, these invisible friends and neighbours will all crawl out of the woodwork again and act like nothing has happened.  I have come to the conclusion that some people have this deranged thought that cancer is catching somehow, sounds silly but it comes across that way at times.  Although cancer is a lonely place to be even when surrounded by supportive family and friends.

I am having SABR and unfortunately some side effects kicked in today, nausea and fatigue, also pain at the site of the lung tumour, but I will have to get used to it and I knew what to expect.  

Best wishes.

I think people just don’t know what to say around people with cancer. They find it easier to ignore us, than have a conversation. I hate to think it is intentional but rather they just don’t know how to act!

It is really good to hear your son is so supportive. My daughter was only 13 when I was diagnosed this 2nd time around, and I feel bad that all she has ever really known is mum with cancer. She is 23 now, and she is amazing support to me. 

I had radiotherapy for my lung tumour, and I can remember how exhausted I was. It’s a tiredness like I had never experienced before! Just rest as much as you can, and know this is just a temporary phase, it will pass x 

Hi Cloverleat

So very sorry that you cause to be here.

The  positive is that Small Cell Lung Cancer (SCLC) is that it generally responds well to chemo in terms of shrinking the tumors. The chemo will also help to prevent the SCLC from spreading.to other areas. It may not cure him, however it will buy him time.

One of the benefits of chemo is that the doses can be reduced and/or given further apart if there are strong side effects, so he needs to be honest  with his cancer team regarding any significant side effects.  Given his age and other medical issues, his team will monitor him very closely.

I hope this helps a little bit.

Kegsy x

1. Thank you so much for your lovely message  I'm only at the beginning of this journey so it's all a bit overwhelming but I appreciate everyone's advice and kindness 

1. Thank you for your lovely message. I'm really sorry that you have so much to deal with too. Sending hugs xx