Alone and scared

I’m scared but my way of coping has been cleaning my flat, you could eat your dinner off the floor! I’m now onto all my cupboards then will do the shed. I have a hubby but I don’t tell him how im feling, I’ve always kept things like that to myself cause I’ve always been the one who’s known as the strong type so I’m putting a brave face on it. I certainly don’t feel like that though ️

I want to do things but cant seem to move from this dang chair. I've never thought of myself as strong. I am so frustrated and disappointed with myself tbh I'm struggling.  We as the mothers and wife's are the strongest but I'll agree it doesn't feel like it at moment.. sending hugs to you.. 

We all deal with things differently. I couldn’t stop crying at first but only when I was on my own. Was told I had a shadow on the lung on the 20th April & I knew it was cancer cause I was a nurse for 20 years. I’ve only just told myself to buck up but I still have down days. I’m on the 5 year plan so that for me is hard to get my head around as 5 years seems such a long time. My consultant asked if I wanted a Macmillan nurse to get in touch but I said no as I find this site is brilliant as everyone here has been effected by the C & they understand. Sending big hugs

Yeah I cant seem to stop crying it's on and off. I did manage the dishes and a shower today so that's a plus.. I seem to cry more when my two youngest (17 and 18) cause I dont want this to effect them I want them to fly high and enjoy their lives.. yeah that support line isnt much help.. I've tried calling I come away confused and upset.. here yall have been amazing and so comforting knowing I'm not alone. I dont understand the 5 yr plan as they just did the biopsy on me so waiting to see exactly what it is and how we will deal.. on a note I've not touched a cig sense early monday morning.. working on stopping all together.  Thank you so much for talking..

You’re doing brilliantly cause smoking was & is soooo hard to give up. I found not having any tobacco etc in the home best for me as I couldn’t then have 1.  I am vaping & expecting to be told to st so that will be the next step & that will be hard as a lot of the time its the habit like after eating etc Just take 1 day at a time. The waiting for results was very hard, once I found out & was onto next step (for me surgery) I did find it a bit easier. I’m still waiting to see the surgeon’s & then will be another wait till the surgery. I don’t know if I will have chemo or radiotherapy until after as it depends what happens during the surgery. The 5 year plan is test, scans, treatment etc in the hopes it will be all gone by 5 years

Yep it's hard so many times today I've just wanted to smoke that last two rollies..but I grabbed the nic assist from boots monday morning so theres no smoke whatsoever but it gives me nicotine and something for the hands to do.. I wish u best of luck and hope we get to talk more. Yes the waiting is hardest..I'd have a rollie right now if I wasnt afraid of infection where they did biopsy..I have enough tobacco for 2 rollies left and not buying anymore... cause the waiting is killer.. hoping to convince my son n law to go whitby or some place for the day just to stay busy with the family... huggs and best wishes...

remember one day at a time ,i had my husband and my kids around me ,but i still felt alone and scared ,i worried about everything its normal once you know what you are dealing with you can face it ,strange but i found it better when i knew what i was dealing with ,as for the smoking try saying to yourself i will wait 10 minutes before i have one ,then when you have managed 10 minutes try another ,not easy ,if like me you smoked for 50 years ,believe it or not i still am tempted to have the odd cig after 2 years and some days i think s..d it and i will have one then i might go months before i have another,i vape and i have gone from 20 mg of nicotine down to 6 mg in two years ,ion july 22nd it will be a year since i had a lobectomoy you will get there you are stronger than you think 

I broke and had one rollie but I got call from bupa to see if I could maybe have some counseling then not five minutes later got the call for my PET scan and the lady wasnt comforting or very nice she made me feel like I had to go home and lock myself away for 8 hours.. I broke had the rollie.. but the nic assist I got monday has been a life saver.. I dont hit it hard cause I'm scared but it must let enough nicotine absorb through mouth or something cause I made it from monday to today smoke free... thank you so much for sharing with me.. I pray I'm strong I feel helpless at minute.  All I have are my kids. 2 left at home..

I had a PET-CT last Friday, got the results on Monday, and even though there's nothing particularly bad in the report I will be anxious until I see my rad onc next week and find out where he wants to go from here.  Your feelings are normal and even those of us who've been down this road before still experience them in some measure.

There is no "right" way to do a cancer diagnosis and it helps to remember that.