Hi, I am a newbie, and lost

Hi Ghost welcome to the group, but so sorry you find yourself here. I wonder if you have had any counselling or if you would consider this? Bupa offer a free 6 week counselling session that Macmillan can arrange for you. Just call 0808 808 00 00. 

Can I also suggest you join the Living with incurable cancer forum - patients only  group. This is a great support group for people with incurable cancer, so they really do understand what you are going through. The question of how to accept your diagnoses has been discussed several times there. If you click on the link that I have put on above, you can request to the join the group, and then introduce yourself as you have here. I know you will be made very welcome x 

Hi Ghost, There is a wonderful you tube real by Katherine Mannix called what happens When We Die. I'm not really afraid of death as I have a very strong faith, but the process is another matter entirely. I watched this video and it gave me great comfort.   I promise I'm not going to preach at you, but a pastor might also offer you some hope and comfort. Faith is such a blessing.   Gentle hugs

Thankyou I will look up the video, but a pastor can not help me anymore than any other kind caring individual who listens. I don't wish to be offensive, but I find religion offensive, too many of the world's trouble are caused by  people's intolerance of other believes. So I keep away from those with strong believes for my own sanity.   I believe the energy,  of the body goes on, but how or where I have no idea, but it doesn't matter..  I just don't want to leave my amazing family, or cause them any more pain but they have already put their life on hold for too long for me,.what I do believe in is taking control of my own life/death but sadly not allowed too.   For 75 yrs I have been a responsible adult,  and in charge of my own life, that is now being taken away from me. And I am struggling..  but thankyou. For caring  

Hi Ghost

You've raised some really difficult questions that have made me think 

Like you I am not religious, I’ve known people that are truely blessed with a faith that in one way I’ve envied because they’re truly happy. My friend died at 41 she was devastated to leave her family but was ready to go home 

Do you think the chemo will give you more time with your family and is it worth your energy?

At least you have the option to take up if you wish 

Chelles advice sounds good to join a group that know how you feel will definitely help and counselling can be beneficial 

With best wishes 

Hi Ghost sorry to hear your sad news. I've got incurable lung cancer and I couldn't except it at the time. I have now come to terms with passing over when I the time comes. What helped me was sittint down with all my family and talking about my funeral arrangements. How my wife is going to pay all the bills and how to claim parts of my pension and every thing else in normal day life. I found this very upsetting and so did my family, put it this way we cried alot during the discussion but after everyone had gone and there was just my wife and I, I felt a sign of relief and so did my wife. If you have already done this and it didn't help I'm sorry but it help me to come to terms. Be strong ghost. Rob