Hello,
I really don’t know what to do - my dear mum is older (82) and was first diagnosed in 2016, operated on, had chemo and was clear until it returned in her left lung in 2019. She had chemo and immunotherapy which she was so poorly from decided to stop all treatment due to the lack of quality of life and her age.
Covid hit, and she was delighted that she only spoke via the phone to oncology without me there for nearly two years wriggling out of having any exploratory procedures etc until today when I went with her for a face to face meeting with an oncologist. she has a few things going on but did agree go for an X-ray which had shown the tumour has almost covered her left lung…. She’s rubbish at dealing with things like this hence why telephone conversations have been great to hide behind and quite honestly, I think this coming to light will make her depressed and anxious! It’s affecting me too. I’m holding it together whilst sobbing writing this!!
I don’t know what to do, say or behave as a result - I feel guilty suggesting the X-ray was a good idea! And going forward what to expect
Hi Leanie Gee welcome to the group, but sorry you find yourself here. I can fully understand how your mum felt she could hide behind the telephone appointments. Covid has effected so many of us in different ways, and it sounds like your mum used the isolation as a way of putting up a wall around her disease. Now that way is coming down, and its a shock for her, for you both.
There are a few ways you can get support for you and your mum, as you go forward dealing with this. If you go to the chat online page, you will see a chat now box come up at the bottom, where you can talk directly with someone from the Macmillan team. You can also call them any day from 8am until 8pm on 0808 808 00 00 .
You can also register your mum to the macmillan-buddies service, where she can have a telephone call once a week from a dedicated support volunteer.
You can also join the Carers only forum and the Family and friends forum where you can connect with other members who are going through a similar situation to yourself.
This is a very anxious time for you both. Please make sure you look after yourself as well during difficult this time. Feel free to come and chat here whenever you like, but also do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, and also look for a local Maggie's Centre as these both support family members as well as the patient.
