Lung cancer

Hi, I am so sorry to hear your news which you must be finding very difficult to deal with. Dont try to deal with this on your own but reach out to those who can and are able to support you, whether that be with medical advice or just an ear to listen over a cup of coffee.  And also please dont forget yourself  during this journey. Take care.

Thank you for your kind words, it’s seems to of taken over every part of my life…with my mum every doctors appointment is more bad news, now her lungs need draining again it’s only been 2 weeks since they tried to repair the lung .  She can’t walk as she’s so breathless. It’s heartbreaking to see. This time 6 months ago the only thing my parents had to worry about was which garden center ti go to …now their destroyed. Trying to stay strong. x 

Hi Bluexxx

you must be finding all of this very difficult and stressful, you will find lots of support on here in the forum, you might also benefit from speaking to macmillion helpline the number can be found on the home page, you will find there is always someone in the forum who will give you support so don’t struggle on your own. 

would it be possible for your mum and dad to join us on here they will benefit greatly although I do appreciate it’s not for everyone so wouldn’t force it on them. If you want to say a bit more about yourself and what support you might need I am sure others will come along and add useful information for you.

whatever you choose to do remember you are not alone, we all find ourselves here for the same reason and we all support each other and you are very welcome.

Sending you a hug for now message if want support

Donna xx

Hi Bluexxx, I am in the same boat but my Dad is 2yrs on but Mum has SCLC, hers was treated but the treatment has now ended as it is no longer working.  Will be lucky if she gets to Christmas they said.  We will see, Mum is very willful.

It is so hard to get your head round all of this but you will get there, I promise.

Love T xx

Hi there, this sounds like a difficult time for you. I feel I can relate to some of what you have said. My mum had nsc lung ca. she was wasn’t ready to die and was scared. She has passed 1 month ago today. She perked up before she passed and she got 17 days after her first chemo. Mum didn’t get the time they had given as an approximate. There is a feeling that she is no longer suffering and that he got her wish of chemo albeit short and she had a blood clot in her lung that traveled which killed her. If this in any way helps I felt we winged it with mum. I loved heaven and earth to ensure she had an MDT and that everything and everyone was involved that should be and that mum was able to have her wishes granted. Mum went from zomoroph & morphine sulphate to oxycodin which helped her trendously, everyone is different. I would personally be asking why they took you mum off her meds, for a copy of her care plan, an MDT. I found the best thing to do for my mum was to be her advocate, her biggest cheerleader and my dad asked me right at the start to “do whatever mum wanted” so that’s what I done. We had fun and laughed, she loved humour, she loved when I would paint her nails, massage her hands & feet and give her a facial or scalp massage, not that I’m trained. We took lots of photos & videos. We discussed mums wishes, mum was a vibrant character and that’s how we ‘celebrated her life’ I like to say it was a celebration as oppose to a funeral. We talked about all things, we would reminisce and I helped her as much as I could. I hear from your message you are trying so hard. What often has been asked of me is “who is supporting you?” To which I laugh and say “my legs” it can be so emotionally draining, frustrating on waiting for tests/results etc, the not knowing ‘how long’ you are completely right cancer does feel like it’s destroying the family, please don’t let it win. You are being so brave. I’d say if your mum wants to be home, let her come home and ensure here’s a plan in place and a contingency plan too, that all services are aware and that you speak to macmillan support when you catch a minute they are wonderful and it’s so helpful to just vent or the a nurse decipher a letter, or give advice on next steps. Try and have as much quality time with your mum as possible, I wish I’d gotten a canvas and made hand prints. Mum used to love to crochet it helped with this nervous energy as mum didn’t like the feeling of her lorazepam. Accept help from neighbours and friends, my goodness I couldn’t move on mums house for flowers but no one came with soup or leftovers and although we often run on empty we do need to eat & have plenty water, so we can be the best version in order to help nurse your mum. I’d ask her all her wishes and try to grant what you can, if you are anything like me I’m tenacious and mum would set me jobs, like calling and helping with pip, a blue badge, having her meet her brother and talk to her birth mother (mum was adopted at 6 weeks) that’s 1 thing I wasn’t able to convince her biological mum to come from Ireland. I realised a few things…I can’t pour from an empty cup, I was only in control of myself and everyone else was in control of themselves. Control was a big factor for mum as cancer takes away a lot of choices and control. If I asked mum what life tips she could tell me. I tried to keep as much normality for mum as possible. Sometimes I would get frustrated as she would overdo it and didn’t listen but hey she’s in control of herself or was. I told mum multiple times a day I loved her and was proud of her. Mum didn’t like people saying she was brave as she would say what have I got to be brave about, I have cancer and that’s it I just have to get on with it. If I can give you any advice or if you take anything away from this heartfelt  message, is how important time is. Spend it wisely. My daughter asked me what I would like for Christmas I replied “your time please” it’s so so precious and no matter how long they tell your mum, even us who aren’t cw ncer warriors we don’t know the minute. So please take good care and I will keep you, your mum & your family in my thoughts. Sending lots of strength to you all x

Aww Bless huny, sorry for your loss xxx I am with Mum every single day, we are now at days/weeks maybe 3 weeks.  They want her to go in and get a stent in her liver but as no food is staying in her body, she is fighting by still trying to eat good food.

Aww it’s such a difficult time, please know you’re a great daughter and you are trying your best. Thank you for your kind words re my mind xxx could your mum take fresubin drinks 200ml 300 cals. I found if mum sat bit up right when eating with a pillow behind her just little and often then having a hot drink to wash it down it prevented the sickness and kept it down as mum could only get comfy lying but not fully down still propped up with pillows, god bless your wee mum trying to eat, mum said from the age of 13 she had been on a diet and then she was losing 1.5 lbs a day and at the end 5lbs overnight, so she just ate what she fancied. Do they need to put a stent in? Or is it going to cause her more discomfort and potentially an infection etc. I know it’s so hard bc if we could take it away from them we would. Just know you are doing your very best and you can be proud of everything you have and are doing. I stayed 77 miles from mum & have two kids so I would split my week, it was hard as when I was home my mind was on my mum, we would text, call, FaceTime and I’d fall asleep as I was so tired yet I felt on high alert. Today has been a weepy wee rollercoaster of emotions too as it marks 1 month. Then on the 1st of January is a month to her ‘celebration of life’ (funeral) just by being by your mums side will be draining on you yet so comforting for your mum, you really are doing your best. Mum was on 2 anti sickness drugs. Also in the last 10 or so days mum changed from morphine to oxycodin and that helped her pain. She said she wasn’t in pain so long as she kept on top of her meds. Also their was vials and needles in mums house bc mum was rural so incase a nurse or paramedic had to administer it (in her care plan) I always thing does the benefit outweigh the risk, so in terms of your mum having the stent (which I’m assuming she will want if she is like mum was, anything to prolong life) could you ask for a second opinion or any other options, mums had traveled to her liver to, it was all through her body in the end. It sounds sick and I probably am not putting it into the right words but I know what I mean…I’m glad for want of a better word mum has gone without that god awful hanging on she had a pulmonary embolism that ultimately killed her, I know mum wanted longer but it was a kinder way to go. In an ideal world everyone would be around mums bed, holding her hands and comforting her as she passed but that me being selfish, dad wanted to wake up and mum to have gone in her sleep, we all have different wishes for our loved ones. Especially a magic wand but as that not yet been invented we must carry on being brave and doing your mum proud. You sound like a dedicated daughter. I know I don’t know you however if no one has told you today IM PROUD OF YOU. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I’m here if you want a wee chat or just vent. Xxx

Hell girl, that nearly made me cry, I am trying so hard to be the brave one.  Not one person has ever said that to me. Thank you  I am always told, I should be doing this and that but I will take what ever comes, I know she's just angry at the world right now.  You were everything to your wee Mammy by the sounds of this, she is with you ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.

Mum is done now love, bless her but for the last 17 months she has been the best trooper around and I have been there every day/night to watch her and I am PROUD as hell of her xx I have spoke to both Macmillan Nurse and Doctors and her oncologist, who has been amazing btw and they think this is her best option to gain her dignity back as she is just constantly pooing and not making it, and she is a very proud lady, so this mess is just upsetting her.  

All my love to you and yours darling xxx

Hi Toppy

Sorry to hear that both of your parents have this

My mum recently been diagnosed with small cell in her left lung 

tumour is 7cm but not operable 

she is only 52 years old very good health 

she is due to start chemo and radiotherapy 

I would like to know more about your mum case if you’re happy to share 

thank you and best wishes

Hi Alex, of course, if you click on my name it should take you a breakdown of how her progress went.  Any questions ask way.