My mum has small cell lung cancer

Hi Chris I completely understand where you are coming from, in regard to your mom. As my mom has an inoperable brain tumour has had this for a while, but has also been diagnosed recently with skin cancer. I feel it is hard to process the fact a love one let alone constant figure in your life has cancer & we feel helpless. In regards to your brother I think like whenever you hear news like this, the mind automatically takes you to that place, goodness knows mine does on a regular basis. But please know you're doing everything you can by being there & reassuring him. As for yourself, allow yourself some time to process it properly. It is not selfish of you at all, you want that quality family time , quality time with your mom. Also as you said it's your way of coping, we all have different ways & this is yours. I do exactly the same act like all is fine. But we do need our release sometimes too it is helpful. I don't know what you do for distraction but mine is music & being creative. I'm sending you love & positive thoughts. Here anytime you want to talk. 

Thank you I tend to knit or bake to clear my mind 

Hi Chris86

So sorry that you have cause to be on here.

The time 11 years ago I was starting my treatment for SCLC. It was only in one lung; however, it was  across the lung.    I too underwent chemo and radiotherapy treatment.

Two months can be a long time in terms of cancer treatment, so why not wait a while to see how your Mum's treatment progresses. Also.  please take into account that at the end of the treatment, she will be very tired and may not be up to a big family Christmas.

My treatment finished just before Xmas, so I didn't get results until just before New Year's Eve. I did go to family for Christmas Day, which was nice, but tpo be honest it was far too much for me and I could wait to get home, put my dressing gown on and slob out on the sofa!

Hope this helps a bit.

Kegsy x

Hi Chris, I would let this depend on your mum's preferences for Christmas (subject also to whether she feels tired - my mum has had two of her chemo cycles for SCLC (limited stage) and apart from tiredness 24-48 hours after the third and final (successive) day of each cycle, she has felt fine. She does, however, often prefer to be alone with her thoughts and feelings, and would not want visitors (strangers) but with children it is different the desire for proximity. With a three centimetre SCLS tumour, if limited stage (hence the chemo and radiation; with extensive stage it would be chemo and immunotherapy) I would expect her to live long enough to add a couple of Christmases. In general my friends told me that as our parents age and their health starts to fail, it is better to spend more time with them, rather than coming to regret it. A parent's diagnosis is liable to challenge our mental health in the best of circumstances. Exercise and alternating presence / absence at / from my parents home (I live in the UK, they live across the Channel) is helping me cope by giving me a break from the intensity of being present at their home during weeks on which she has treatment (every third week). Take care. 

Sorry folks I Cauthen flag to moderator button, I didn’t mean to.

Hi Patrick, With Extensive SCLC Immunothereapy is not always offered, it is only if they have the correct Gene to cope and if time allows.  My Mum has SCLC Extensive and was not a candidate for it.  You find with SCLC that only those with Limited are offered Immunotherapy as it is limited to one lung and no spread.  My Mum got 11 rounds of Chemo and 6 Radiotherapy and 17 months and counting.

Hi Chris86, Your poor Mum, only 56, a very young age.  I see all points but if Mum is getting treatment then that should prolong the outcome all being well.  My Mum has SCLC spread to Lymph, liver and spine, she got Chemo Radio and done very well.  SCLC tends to respond to treatment very well but this cancer is extremely aggressive.  My Mum has survived 17th months but her treatment is no longer working so we have been advised that if she make it to Christmas we will be lucky.

We offered to bring Christmas in early but she has said this is not something she wants and to continue as normal until it is time.

You both could be right but since Mum's diagnosis I have spent everyday with her but this is my choice whereas my sisters choose not too.  The only thing that is selfish in this is the bloody cancer.

Do what you need to do to keep your mental health in check.

Love T xx