Lonely and struggling

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Hi I'm getting over lung cancer operation 13 weeks ago ,most of my friends don't talk to me now ,so I'm lonely and struggling  with anxiety 

  • Hi Kaz13

    I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with anxiety and feeling alone especially in a time of need, I had lung surgery for cancer last year and felt the same, no body knows how to be around you or deal with something so confrontational, it does get better so stay strong, it’s still early days.

  • Hi Kaz, I had a VATS lobectomy 9 weeks ago now and I’m feeling better. My GP prescribed some antidepressants as I was having real trouble sleeping with underlying anxiety. It’s a bit of a lonely business, isn’t it? Do you have a Maggies centre near you or any cancer support groups locally?

    From what you say some of your friends are talking to you. Maybe the others find it difficult to know what to say. TBH, I don’t discuss much with my family about my feelings. I’ve contacted the Samaritans when I needed a friendly voice and MacMillan or Roy Castle when I needed to discuss the cancer.

    I don’t know where you are but I do hope some others will be along to chat. All the best xxx

  • Thankyou , ilive in Surrey. Just no one here to talk to that live near .hope your doing well .I think the surgery was the easiest part to be honest 

  • Thankyou ,just need to get out  but no one to go with 

  • Quite often I have to go out on my own as my partner is not very mobile. I’m planning to join a gym in a couple of months time but I also have no one to go with. I’m lucky, as I’m an only child and fairly used to being self-sufficient. Have a look round for local cancer groups maybe via Facebook. Do you have a specialist nurse at your hospital? They might be able to help.

    I agree the surgery was the easy part. It takes a while to recover, not helped when feeling miserable. I hope you’ll be able to bounce back soon.

    BouquetBouquet

  • Hi Kaz 

    I’m really sorry to hear that your going through a difficult time alone with anxiety added to it.  It is a tough period but you will pull through it.  I had lobectomy surgery in December and further lobectomy surgery in January this year and unfortunately it took about 2 months before I could say I was better to return to work.  I found many didn’t know what to say or how to behave around me but I still knew they cared as every so often they messaged me knowing struggling to talk was an issue due to breathing and reoccurrence of chest infections.  See if you can approach your friends yourself and explain you understand it’s difficult for them just as it is for you so maybe you both can feel comfortable to try to talk and build it from there.  The good thing is you have a whole family on here that are all going through similar issues and understand very well.  My husband really struggled with me as he didn’t know what to say or do knowing I was suffering a lot.  Everyone deals with stresses in their own way but that doesn’t make them love you any less.  

    I truly hope you get through this difficult time soon.  Keep your chin up there is light at the end of the tunnel.  

    Love Sweet x 

  • Hi I was given a nurse but she never answers any calls etc , so just on my own really .

  • My husband is struggling with it all and I feel so guilty its making him ill . I just wish I could find someone who wants to go out for a coffee and a chat 

  • Hi there, I have been going to  a Maggies Centre and have found this very helpful as you are around people who are going through the same as you. I would definitely see if there is one near you. I have also managed to find other cancer groups that offer complimentary therapies that I have booked onto, again I am finding it helps with the loneliness and anxiety as during the day I am on my own as husband is at work. 

    Wishing you all the best