Hi,
4 years ago my dad was diagnoised with Level 4 lung cancer. We thought we were going to lose him but until a few months ago he wasn't healthy (he has multiple health issues) but the cancer appeared to be quiet. Suddenly it's back and it looks like we are going to lose him and I'm just not coping. We all know we are going to lose our parents and its my mum that's living with and supporting my dad everyday but I can't control my emotions - exception being when I'm with him. My friends don't seem to understand, I've been saying that dad's ill for so long that they think this is normal. It's now in his lymph nodes and its spreading - we don't know how badly as he's been so ill he hasn't been able to see his consultant. He has an appointment tomorrow and my parents tell me to expect the worst.
I know this is going to get worse but I need to control myself enough to work. I got sent home last week as I'd had a call with mum and it broke my heart. I need to be supportive but how do you do that when you can't stop crying?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Hi Lizah5 welcome to the group, but so sorry to hear about your dad. It is so scary when someone we love so much is diagnosed with this horrible disease. The fear of the unknown is terrifying, and I hope that once your parents have the consultation tomorrow, you get a better perspective on things, and you will feel a little better. It is so hard, I know because I went through this with my mum. She was 63 when she passed away. I was desperate for her to stay, and I miss her terribly. My Dad now has a form of blood cancer. He has completely ignored the fact that I have lung cancer, as I was diagnosed one year after my mum passed, the same week in fact. He cant cope with that, or the fact that he now has blood cancer.
It is hard, and there is no magic wand to help us cope. But you have done the best thing by coming here to chat with us. Your friends may struggle to support you, as no one wants to see their friend in pain, but also if they have not experienced something similar, then they just might not know what to say. Here is a safe environment to speak about your worries and fears, with no judgement, just support from people who understand what it is like.
I have seen that you have also joined the carers support groups, which are also a good place to share your experience. There are many people there that are going through a similar thing to yourself. Being able to talk about it, and share your worries, does make you feel that you are not alone in this.
Please let us know how your Dad gets on tomorrow. Take care x
