My mum has lung cancer

Hi Sean1996 it sounds like you have a very close bond with your mum, so this news will be devastating for you. All you can do is take one day at a time, don’t try and look too far ahead and what that might mean, concentrate on the here and now. The positive thing is she is already starting treatment, and where there is treatment there is always hope. 

I hope mums radiation goes well for her. Let us know how she gets on. 

That’s lovely thank you

Hi Sean1996, 

It sounds like you are really struggling at the moment. I know that each diagnosis is different, but I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 16 months ago and was given 4-6 months to live. I have recently had a ct that show I too had metastasis in my neck and near my ear and my lower spine. I have just finished radiotherapy,  which I did struggle with, and am now on Chemo tablets. That was about a month ago. I feel the best I have been in ages.

I think what has also helped is the closeness and support of my family.  I have always had a positive attitude, and we have found that talking about the cancer has made things easier. It mean you don't skirt about the issue. We try to make memories when ever we can. Laugh together. This does help relax you and ease the tension.

I hope you are able to find some peace. Don't focus on the negatives. Make those memories,  talk to each other, let your mum.kniw how your feeling and let her tell you how she's feeling too.

Tell each other how much you love each other and take each day as it comes.

Remember, we are all here for you if you ever need to talk.  xxx

That’s amazing thank you  

And I’m so glad to hear you are feeling well and long may that continue . x

Hi,

Thanks again for the kind comments before. 

I felt like I wanted to provide an update on how my mum is getting on.  My mum had five sessions of radiotherapy which to target the cancer in her neck.  The positive news is that she seemed to cope well with the treatment and the doctor seem to think it worked successfully as she doesn't have any stiffness in her neck anymore.

The following week she then started her first of five chemotherapy sessions which will target all of the cancer.  We are now just over two weeks since then and the main issue she has had with the treatment is fatigue.  The first week or so she really struggled to even get out of bed and go down stairs.  After that she has slowly started to get back to her usual self.  The second chemo session is on Wednesday next week.

One thing that has become apparent though is that she seems to have developed some kind of memory and speech issues.   It just seems to be small things such as forgetting how to work the tv remove or her phone.  Also, there is a small issue with her speech at times.  Sometimes she struggles to say the words that are in her head.  From what I have read online this is a common issue with cancer that is in the brain.  I'm just looking to find out if others have come across this. how they managed it and does it tend to improve after treatment is finished? 

Thanks

Sean

Hi Sean1996  that is great to hear that the radiotherapy has helped with mums neck. Treatment can be brutal at times, and like your mum as soon as you have finished one treatment you are thrown into the next. With chemo you may find a pattern with mums side effects, as you mentioned she had a few days of extreme fatigue, which she seems to have picked up from now, but you may find this happens again in her next round. 
The symptoms that mum is experiencing with her head can be the side effects of chemo, which they call chemo brain, but I would suggest that you speak to someone in mums medical team about this as it does sound concerning. Please let us know how she gets on. 

Hi, following on from my last update my mum felt really good around two weeks after her first chemotherapy treatment. In fact she told her doctor at the recent checkup how much clearer her head is (which I agreed with). She has since had the second treatment and just over a week later I can see the same issues again. They seem to occur when she is really tired which is alot of the time at the moment due to the treatment. 

She has recently developed a bit of a cough as well which we are keeping an eye on. We called the helpline number and after going through other potential symptoms we were told that it was likely a cold and to keep an eye on how things progress so that’s what we are doing.

i have to admit the last few days I feel like I have really struggled emotionally again. I just want to protect my mum and look after her. Some days I feel great but the slightest wee thing can throw me. I know that’s normal in this situation but I just need to concentrate on the here and now and deal with what’s happening today rather than worry about tomorrow. That’s the kind of thing I keep telling myself at least. 

So I don’t really have much of an update but it makes me feel slightly better to share what’s happening and my emotions on here. I think it’s the fact that so many people on here know what’s it’s like as the person with the cancer or if you are supporting a loved one. 

Sean x

Hi Sean,

I lost my amazing mum a couple of years ago to cancer.  It was 17 weeks between diagnosis and her passing as she had none of the usual signs before hand.

Reading your update takes me straight back to that time and it really was the hardest time of my entire life, so my heart goes out to you and I wish I could give you a hug in those moments when that ache of hopelessness kicks in and the reality of it all feels too much to cope with.

We were very close too, so life felt empty, painful and pointless when she passed.

I can't pretend it was easy but she said over and over during her illness that life will go on and I'll find happiness in the small things again. And she was right (wise woman). But I also remember how impossible that felt at the time.

When the emotions get too much, just let it out. Know that what you're doing now is amazing and that you mum knows how amazing you are for being there. That knowledge will become invaluable at times of grief and you should feel proud of how you've stepped up, no matter how difficult. 

I wish you so much luck, warmth and peace for the times ahead. Xx

Hi Sean ,  

I found during my chemo and after  , I had lots of memory issues , fatigue and what they call word findings ,  my brain is clear . 

it has got better but like you say when tired it gets worse . Spelling is another issue .  But i‘M here breathing .  Are you looking after yourself .   Have you thought of counselling , I had some with my local hospice and they have counselling for family and carers to . It’s good because you can talk through the what ifs and being hospice staff they understand . 

best wishes to you

Sorry I have taken a while to reply but I just want to thank you for such a kind message. As you say it sounds like a similar story. 

The last couple of weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions. A couple of weeks ago today I called an ambulance for my mum after she shouted on me and when I got into the room she was struggling to breathe and was shaking as she was freezing cold. Turns out she had a chest infection which thankfully they managed to treat just in time at the hospital. But she spent about a week in hospital which was challenging for number of reasons. After 3 days the doctors were happy to allow my mum to go home to finish her recovery but the physios in hospital weren’t happy to let her go due to her walking. Trying to get physios to understand that my mum has MS and has always struggled walking wasn’t easy to say the least. My mum didn’t walk for that full week while in hospital whereas at home where she feels comfortable she can do some housework that keeps her active all be it she still has a mobility scooter to use if needed. It actually got to a stage where we were going to discharge my mum from hospital but the nurses told us they wouldn’t prescribe the rest of her antibiotics which was something I’ve never heard of before! She was trapped in hospital due to physios basically. Thankfully after 6 days a senior doctor was in the hospital and was happy to sign my mum out. We now have carers coming to the house to help my mum get back to some kind of normality. 

While my mum was in hospital she had a CT scan of her head which showed that out of the two bits of cancer in her head, one part has shrunk and the other has remained the same so they have upped her steroid tablets. 

My mum has her next chemo on Wednesday next week so again this will be another big test. Between the treatment and medication she feels that she is becoming a different person and there is only so much I can say to try to keep her feeling positive. 

So again just thank you for the lovely comment and i hope you are doing well. It’s good to know you have come out the other side with such a positive attitude that you are willing to share. 

Thanks 

Sean x