Hi - I'm new to this group. My Mum was diagnosed with stage 4 Lung Cancer while in hospital last August - she is almost 80 years old. She was really poorly and 'End of life' palliative care was offered. Mum went into a care home where she absolutely thrived and was well enough to look after herself so the NHS funding was stopped and she has been back at home since February. She continues to do well although house bound and relies on me for shopping. meds etc. We decided together that she wasn't going to have any invasive treatment and/or medication as we thought it would be too traumatic given her age. However, as she has done so well up to just - I'm beginning to wonder if that was the best decision. She has been a heavy smoker up to the Lung Cancer diagnosis and has many other health conditions to worry about. Also the Manager of the care home told her she could actually have been mis-diagnosed and not have Lung Cancer at all! Is this even possible? The doctors at the hospital took me to the 'special room' and told me about the cancer and that it was secondary! That it had spread from one lung to the other. I feel I am on my own with this - any advice welcome.
Hi Betsy, welcome to the group, but sorry to hear about your mum.
First can I address the care home manager. At first I thought that was completely irresponsible behaviour! But then I thought I wonder if she was just trying to ease your mums fears. Of course you know the doctors couldn’t of got this wrong, they have seen your mums scans, the care home manager has not.
You shouldn’t beat yourself up wondering whether you have made the right decision with treatment or not. You do not know how your mum would of been on treatment, it would certainly of made her feel unwell, and weakened her immune system, so I think that she is more well in herself now than she was a few months ago, is a real positive.
As your mum is housebound, do you have carers coming in to help? You can talk your mums GP about this, but also Ageuk have some really helpful information.
You shouldn’t feel alone whilst caring for mum. Feel free to come here and chat at any time, and you can also call the Macmillan support line and chat to someone there, on 0808 808 00 00. There is also another support group here on the online community you may wish to join, where you can connect to other people in a similar situation to yourself. I’ll pop the link below.
Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum
Take care x
