A new normal

Hi everyone,

I first came onto this site a couple of months ago. I'm 40 years old, a non smoker and I had just found out that I had stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to my liver. I was feeling dreadful. Not just the emotional shock of finding out I only had months to live but my symptoms. I had constant indigestion and stomach problems, jaundice and was in a lot of pain. I thought that was how I would be feeling constantly from then on. The prospect was terrifying. 

I came on here and saw positive posts from people who were doing well but just thought they were the lucky ones. That maybe their symptoms hadn't been so bad or that their treatment was just working better. 

I've now been living with incurable cancer for a few months and my life is different but good. I had to give up my job, which was a real kick in the teeth because I had worked so hard at my career, but there are great effects from that. I get to spend more time with my husband. Laughing, joking, snuggling and making love. I get to spend more time talking to my family and friends. I have the time for hobbies, needle work, cooking, reading and watching lots of box sets. 

My symptoms are much better. The jaundice is gone, my stomach feels a lot better. My pain is under control. The only annoying symptom is fatigue and sleeping lots. But hey at this time of year who doesn't like being snuggled up under a duvet. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that some good does come out of all of this. You will still have lots of lovely moments to enjoy. I kind of feel like I've retired and am enjoying having time to do things. I don't know how long I've got left, but I do know that I'm not terrified any more. 

Hope this helps if you are where I was a few months ago. 

  • Hi Firefly

    What an amazing post, so very positive. I am sure it will bring comfort to those  in the same situation.

    You enjoy your duvet days!

    Kegsy x

    "If you are going through hell, keep going" ; Sir Winston Churchill
    " Cancer may take my life; however it will not become my life" Kegsy August 2011
  • Hi Firefly, I'm 43 and an ex smoker of more than 10 years but you get the cards your dealt with. I too had to retire from work which was gutting as I'd worked so hard to further my career and had just finished and passed a post graduate diploma 2 weeks before finding out my fate... I too like you love a duvet day, but I might be guilty of playing on that a bit.... Shhhh don't tell hubby :~). Your post was lovely and will help a lot of people recognise that actually we have a lot to be thankful for. Take care and stay positive. X

    Take care and stay strong xx

  • What an inspiring post! I think we do just learn to live with the big C, or whatever name we give it. It becomes part of our life and not the all consuming dread and despiar we felt after diagnosis.

    Take care xx

  • What a lovely post. Living with this does make you appreciate the smaller things in life that’s for sure. 


  • I hate this disease and will never think that it brought any good in my life or my family’s ,I would rather have worked till I’m dead than have this stinking disease,

  • I think we all feel like Poppy, but trying to deal with the cards we have been dealt in a positive way. 


  • Those of us who have been presented with an incurable, terminal diagnosis it's a fait accompli.  It's the hardest thing we've ever had to endure. We have no choice but "to deal with with the cards we have been dealt". We're stuck with something we don't want. For us, just getting through the days becomes a "positive" achievement. Our world is an extremely challenging place both physically and mentally. As Seneca said,  "Sometimes even to live is an act of courage".

  • Hi FireflyWitch

    what a lovely and encouraging post.

    wishing you well


  • As an incurable myself, I do agree that not everyday is a good day, but I always find something good in every day. 


  • Hi, I'm a newbie, what a positive post.

    We have just found out my mum has lung cancer also which has spread to her liver. Can i ask what treatment you've been given if any? My heart is shattered. But I'm trying to stay strong for my mums sake. She's in hospital, it's difficult that we can't go to see her with this virus going around.