Scared

Hi Frazzled,

It is very natural to feel anxious before your first chemo. I certainly was really scared. However once I got there and the nurses started taking care of me, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I really was looked after well and am sure you will be. 

I had all these thoughts and worries about what it would be like and my experience was totally different. The unit was very calm and welcoming. Cups of tea and sandwiches were bought round. I did feel a bit sick but had meds that helped. Just tell the nurses if you don't feel great or that you are nervous and they will explain everything as they go. Try to do a few bits today and keep busy. That helped me.

Once I got the first one out of the way- the following ones were a lot easier as I knew what to expect. With the first one it is sometimes the fear of the unknown.

What chemo are you having?

Jane

But I'm scared every day I I start waking up about 6 and it is the most horrible feeling in the world..I cant read the doc handwriting claboplatin it looks like that and a v word I have my pre chemo appointment today.. I'm really struggling every day. I call the support line but really I feel so scared and alone. Everyone says stay busy but doing what? Cleaning i hate doing house work so i do what has to be done to be  clean but i dont want to clean every day all day. I watch tv. Have a game i used to love playing but i dont even enjoy that anymore. I have lost my spark or will whatever it's called and i cant seem to get it back..

Just me again. I dont k ow how to make this feeling go away. I try yalls support line they really make me feel like theyd rather me call else where. I know this sounds bad but I think it's all cause my daughter is leaving on a 2 week honeymoon she paid for before the diagnosis.  I just dont want to be left alone.. I live with my 2 youngest and I feel like I'm loosing my mind..I'm scared, dreed going to bed at night cause I gotta wake up next morning and the dreed is overwhelming..

Why not have a chat with the nurses later at your pre chemo appointment. Explain how you are feeling. I find fresh air helps and going out for walks- if you feel well enough. I also catch up on the soaps and light hearted things like watching Friends. When I was having chemo and not feeling so great I used to do online jigsaws and play games to keep busy- just simple ones like the Bubble Pop ones etc. I used to find that to sit and think and not do anything would make me feel worse, even read a few books. It's about finding something you fancy doing

I know and I like doing all that and I dont get what my problem is. I wanted always to not work and glaze about and now that's it's being forced a bit I dont feel ok with it.. I will probably break down on the poor nurses honestly if I dont find a reason to keep going.. I havent a clue how to get outta this hole I'm in and it scares me.

Hi frazzled 

I’m sure it’s only natural to be scared, you’ve been through & are going through a lot. Would your son not be able to attend your session with you ? Even just for the first one ? Try to write down any questions you might have, as we have a tendency to forget some of what we’re told, especially if you are anxious. The staff in these clinics are amazing & well used to working with patients who are anxious & scared. They will look after you. Try to break things down into bite size jobs instead of worrying about the whole house, make your bed, was your breakfast/dinner dishes. Have you tried any of the herbal teas or tablets for anxiety (Check with Dr’s to make sure they are ok with anything you are currently taking). Wishing you the best of luck, let us know how you get on ! 

My 19 yr old daughter who lives with me is going tomorrow with me. My 33 yr old is supposed to be doing it all with me and she leaves tomorrow for her honeymoon she waited 2 yrs for it and had just paid it all off when I got the news so their leaving and that's really bothered me I think. I have a 28 yr old trying to get sober. 2 weeks now shes been sober a 21 yr old that just gets on with it. If any of this is effecting her we dont know. And my son hes 17 and in college. I sleep on the couch as I hate my bedroom I do the dishes while I cook so their not there next morning. I know I I appreciate the ones on here who talk to me. 

Glad you have someone going with you ! Look, your priority right now is you. I know that may seem easy for me to say but trust me I’ve been there. The mess I had to come home to after my lobectomy was an absolute disgrace, I was only worried about my 2 dogs. I don’t think I would have been allowed home if the hospital knew the state of the house. Had to get a neighbour to come & collect as we couldn’t get my husband. Enough about that ! Please try to stay concentrated on you frazzled, you have enough to be dealing with at the moment. I’m sure your daughter is upset she won’t be with you as much as you are. I’m really hoping & praying your first treatment will not be half as bad as we can imagine in our mind. Stressing about your other kids won’t be helping your anxiety . Are you eating ok ? Maybe you’re not getting a proper rest on the sofa & that can heighten your anxiety. I really hope your appointment is a positive experience, but please let us know & take good care 

The pre appointment wasnt to bad. I'm still scared but I dont know why..I just know I feel it's all to much to handle sometimes..