Very Emotional

Hi Essex1, If you need to rant, you need to rant.  We have a very similar situation with our parents.  My Mum has been angry constant, arguing over an Orange peel!!!  I was putting it down to the Chemo. She is not a candidate for Immunotherapy.  She has completed all her treatment, got CT scan on Friday 28th, so we just need the results.

Hope you ok 

Love T xxx

Hi Toppy,

I hope your Mum is doing well. It’s very hard isn’t it. He was like this through his first treatment cycles and then gained more energy and slowly became himself again. Now he’s started more treatment, he’s lost his hair, lost weight etc he seems to be back in that dark place mentally again. 

I hope you get some positive news from your Mum’s scan.

Lucie.  

Hi Essex1,  how is the CAV chemo going for your dad? 

My mum was diagnosed stage 4 sclc in Dec 2020, she has done 2 lines of chemo and tecentriq, but sadly they stopped working and there is now spread to the brain. 

Mum started 3rd line chemo today and it is CAV too. I am worried this will wipe her out completely. 

It's a difficult time for everyone involved on this road isn't it. I hope your dad gets good results xx

Hi Bearhug,

Sorry to hear of your Mum’s diagnosis. 

My Dad had Radiotherapy in December and the Oncologist has said it would be the Radiotherapy that’s now wiped him out, we assumed it was the CAV chemotherapy, so it’s hard to tell how the effects have been on him, which doesn’t help you at all.

Have you tried to type CAV into the search bar at all to see if there are other posts elsewhere of people who have had CAV treatment?

How did your Mum get on with her other treatments symptom wise?

Wishing you and your family all the best.

Lucie x 

Hi Essex1,

Thank you, think it comes as a huge shock to us all doesn't it. 

My mum hasn't had any radiotherapy yet, they have spoken about chest area and whole brain, but haven't actually given any. Not sure if this is being held back as last resort? I really don't know. I know radiotherapy can wipe people out, but could be the combination for your dad. It's hard at times to see them so down and weak.

I am part of a group on F/B for sclc too, and lots of info and support there. Not many people have CAV as treatment, not sure why? I cannot find many. 

Mum did well with the carbo/etop/tecentriq, but sadly after 8 months it stopped working, so 2nd line treatment started, i think it was carbo/gemcitabine, but only gave 3/4 months until new growth and mets to brain. Such a hard fight this time for her. I think she has had enough now. 

She lost her hair the first time and was tired/weak, but bounced back after treatment finished. Mum felt good on immunotherapy. 2nd line chemo wiped out her bloods/potassium, so infusions got delayed or lower doses given.

Hope all goes well for your dad too. Stay positive and take each day at a time xxx

Hi Lucie, Your poor Dad, he is having a right old time of it.  Mum is very up beat but also hides a lot thinking we don't know but we do catch her holding her spine as she has pain there and her breathing is slightly laboured.  She is fighting will all her might.  Mum lost all her hair but it is now growing back and fast.  Mum had 6 Chemo and 6 Radiotherapy but that is it they won't give her anymore due to the spread.  As we all know it will come back with a vengeance, they then will offer pain relief only.  Going from being given 6 weeks without treatment to now getting the 7 months has been a bonus.  I am exhausted as I grieve her everyday but also, we don't have any other conversation now - everything is about this bloody cancer. I know that sounds selfish, just some days I would like to talk about everything but cancer. 

I work from home now and this has been a godsend, my company are so supportive.  I stay 5 mins from her so I pop in and out all day, spending more time in the evening as my Dad gets the brunt of her anger if I am not, I can take it, he needs his wife not to snap the face off him for silly things, so he has the good times as such. 

Take care of you and Dad.  Sending you so much love and hugs xxx

Terri

Bearhug,

The shock is massive, it’s like a punch in the stomach, such an emotional rollercoaster. This week I am on edge waiting for the scan results. 

Would you mind me asking what the FB group is?

Your Mum sounds like a trooper, it’s so hard watching them go through it all, it’s heartbreaking for everyone. I think my Dad has had enough, he just wants to get some energy back and I can’t imagine the thoughts going through his mind but I miss him and he’s still here!

You too stay positive and we can only do day but day. X

Hi Toppy,

Your Mum is doing well, it’s such an awful disease. I always wonder why people have different treatment plans, my Dad never started with Radiotherapy just chemo and immunotherapy.

I know what you mean about grieving everyday, the person is still here but you miss them, certainly for me anyway as my Dad has lost his spark completely. We try and be normal but it’s not the same. Like you and your Dad, it’s my Mum that gets the brunt of the moods etc at the moment she does a lot wrong, which is also sad to see because she is absolutely exhausted as his carer and we just want to help him help himself. 

Look after yourself and your family and wishing your Mum all the very best xx 

Hello Essex1,

It honestly is, and scan result weeks are awful on the nerves. Hope you get positive news!

I think anyone facing cancer are troopers, it is very hard for all involved. I'm emotionally exhausted, so I can only imagine how my mum feels. My dad is finding it hard too, I think he's depressed but won't say he is. 

We have had 5/6 amazing months over the last 14 months, that was from April last year to Sept time, mum finished chemo and immuno was working. She felt well and had loads of energy. Hopefully your dad can get some energy back soon too.

I have sent a friend request to you to give the FB page as I am not sure on the rules of adding something on a direct message here, don't want to get banned. 

Take care x

Thanks Lucie, I think age, health and general well being has a lot to do with what is offered, My Mum is 77, albeit a firecracker in spirit and general health.  They have only given her the Chemo and Radiotherapy to give her time with family, she has very young Grandsons and felt she needed time to say goodbye but with Covid restriction this has made it very difficult. I have a sister 20yrs younger than me and just about the same age as my children, so her boys are still very young and ages with my grandkids.

Emotionally I am drained and saddened by all the arguments, this should've been a time for love and resolve but if this is what she needs, to vent her anger, at Cancer, then I am happy to take it.  My Dad just can't he has Lung Cancer  but receiving no treatment, he is 80yrs and not fit enough to go through all the tests, so they have just left him.

My husband and I are like ships passing in the night, we spend 1 hour a day together as I am always at Mums.  This is also a strain as he is my safe place.

Your Poor Mum must be finding it really hard as she is with him 24hrs a day.

If you ever need to chat, just send a message

All my love to you and your family xx

Terri