Life wit h Stage 4 Cancer Diagnosis

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Hi

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in January. It’s been a heck of a few months (as I’m sure you will have experience of) to get to prognosis.

He had his 4cm primary tumour removed from his bowel on 1st March and is due to start 4 cycles of chemo this month (Capox - combination of IV and tablets) then time to recover and a liver resection. 

The biopsy showed that 6 out of the 14 lymph nodes removed showed cancer (1 apical node), VI also impacted. RO - so clear margins and we’re told all cancer removed from bowel. The pathology report mentions 1 satellite tumour deposit too, which I don’t really understand- if they are saying clear margins did they get that too, and is a tumour deposit a worse outlook? He has 2 small spots on his liver, 6mm and 8mm and both currently operable. They are going for cure! 


I was absolutely relieved when they said cure. However, given all the bits impacted that I mention above I constantly worry something else is going to show up!  Particularly worried about this apical node and tumour deposit, which I still don’t really understand much about, or it’s impact! I keep thinking that there might be other things lurking we don’t know about yet. Spread we can’t yet see but then there might not be! Or if there is the chemo gets it before it has a chance to grow further! 

I want to believe that he will be cured and by the end of the year we can put this all behind us. For context I’m 6.5 months pregnant and finding it hard to picture the future and what that might look like. I want us to be a family and for my son to know his Daddy. No one has told me right now that won’t happen and I’m wasting time worrying about it instead of enjoying each day with my husband and my pregnancy. 

Any positive stories from a similar diagnosis or advise on coping mechanisms would be gratefully received. I don’t want to worry anymore it doesn’t achieve anything! I’m trying really hard! 

Thankyou ! 

  • Hi  

    It sounds like you and your husband have been through a great deal and it's natural to want to hear positive stories and find ways of coping.

    As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups and I can see that you've posted in the bowel cancer group before. This would probably be the best place to ask about positive outcomes for bowel cancer. 

    Another group which I think you might benefit from joining is the carers only group which is a safe and supportive place to discuss your worries and emotions as well as finding how others have coped.

    To join the group, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here, and join in with existing conversations by clicking on reply.

    Sending virtual (((hugs)))

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Dear Ziggybay,

    im new to this group and just read your post. I am so heartbroken for you and your husband to be going through this with the new baby coming who I sure will bring you both much joy and comfort.

    my husband is 72 and I adore him. He has just been told yesterday that he has liver lesions from his prostate cancer. I don’t know what is happening now but you are right to hold on to talk of a cure. This is possible or they wouldn’t say it. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but it is possible. 

    my heart is with you and sending all three of you much love and kind wishes.

    Louli xxx

  • Thanks for your message! Trying my hardest to keep positive but feels so scary! I hate the fact that they can never be sure something else won’t crop up! It’s so unsettling. I hope your husband is doing ok? You too? 

  • Hi Zig,

    everyone is so unique and I think age plays a part too. We can’t be sure exactly at the moment what type of CA this is until the biopsy but all I’m saying is be vigilant but not obsessive and strike a balance. the dr told us that the cells can change and this liver mets is exceptionally rare and only about 1% of all Prostate cancers change like this. 

    lear to live just looking over your shoulder occasionally and enjoy the party along the way. Excessive worry is giving cancer airplay. 

    sending you much love,

    Louli xx