Heceptin targeted therapy

Dear , I am sorry to hear about your husband diagnosis and although I have a different kind of cancer I also have a terminal diagnosis so can speak in general terms. Prognosis has become difficult to determine in the era of life extending drugs like heceptin and makes decisions about how to use the time it affords one problematic. Ultimately it’s the person with cancer who has to decide what helps them cope with a very difficult situation, personally I prefer to use my time to be with my husband and my friends at the hospice which I attend once a week for emotional support and friendship, but this approach is not for everyone and men especially find the need to carry on being the provider for the family difficult to let go. As things progress with his disease he may have a change of heart and decide to do things differently but it’s probably better to let him drive that change rather than putting any pressure on him even though it might seem a counterintuitive thing to do.

its very very important that you get some support for yourself and I recommend two groups in the forum, carers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer forum. Also if you have a local maggies centre in your area they can offer you support independently of your husband. My husband has been my rock throughout my treatment and it’s not a easy job and you deserve support as much as the patient themselves.

Thank you for your response, it helps me to see that it is very individual. I know for my husband that  loosing his business and livelihood overnight has been massive, and I also know he needs to provide.... even though I work. For him getting his business running again is not a waste of his time. Thanks for the advice re looking after myself. Myself and our 10 year old daughter did access some counselling from our local hospice, we can access this again if needed. I suppose the bit I’m struggling with at the moment is just not knowing’ how long’ ..... but I also know for my husband this is not a question he even considers. Time is making it easier to put that question to the back of my mind and as a family we focus on today.... and being ‘ back to normal’ . Staying positive and enjoying the little things in life. Thanks again for your words x

Dear

im glad my post made sense to you. As for prognosis, it’s natural to want to know, but doctors just can’t commit themselves anymore. Your husband will know in himself when there are any signs of disease progression and will adjust his expectations on himself naturally. Keep in touch with the hospice as it’s important to stay on the radar for use in the future. Try to live in the moment it’s less stressful than trying to second guess the future.  My best wishes to you and your daughter.

Thanks Jane, and best wishes to you too