My dads cancer and my son

FormerMember
FormerMember
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my dad has recently found out that he has secondary liver cancer, he has an appointment tomorrow for a biopsy and to try and find out where the primary cancer is. I’ve done the dreaded google and wish I hadn’t. I don’t know what to expect, my dad is staying surprisingly positive, tho I think it’s a front for us girls (4 daughters) I’ve not had much of a relationship with my dad over the years but this has still hit me very hard, we have been closer than ever since my son was born in 2016, and finally started to bond after all these years, but it hits me harder when I think of my son. For both my son AND my dad. My son because he only has 2 grandparents (his dad is absent) and my dad because he’s finally got a boy in his life after 4 girls and he has so many plans to teach him all about music (music is my dads life) so I guess what I’m asking is, what to expect with the cancer (doctors have said he may not be well enough for treatment due to other medical issues) and how I can help my son (3yo) through this time as he absolutely adores his grandad. Thanks in advance. X

  • Hi and a second welcome to the online community

    I'm sorry that no one in this group has responded to you after my fellow Community Champion TheHighlander suggested that you join. It may be that your post hasn't been seen yet by someone who feels that they can respond.

    I don't have secondary liver cancer but I've found this information for you that explains how it's diagnosed and treated and also this advice on talking to children about cancer.

    It's natural to worry that your dad and you son might not have as much time together as you'd hoped but many people continue to lead a good life with their cancer being treated or managed. Once your dad's doctors have run all the necessary tests they will get together to decide what's the best course of action for your dad.

    Waiting for the results can be a very stressful time and if you feel you need to talk to someone you can phone the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 0000. It's free to call and available daily from 8am to 8pm.

    x

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Hi ,

    Welcome to the forum . Expectations vary a lot dependent more on other health issues and the extent of the disease in the liver .

    I am not sure how much you have looked into the liver as an organ but it is pretty sizeable and able to sustain quite an extensive amount of cancer before it gets compromised and starts to affect its function . Then the balance tips . It also depends on how quickly his tumours grow . My mum had quite a sizeable amount of tumours that grew very quickly but also responded well to chemo and literally imploded . Others have slow growing tumours that are less of a speed issue . All these factors affect prognosis .

    If however he can take some small amounts of chemo even at a lower dose it may be enough to contain his disease for a reasonable period of time . Even if no treatment is available they many be able to give him a reasonable quality of life . It is very individual. 

    Once you have more information on what the plan is you can think about ensuring  he has a good care package . If however he does get chemo he will remain under the care of his oncologist. They will give him chemo , meet with him every few weeks and monitor how his body is handling it , if he needs his dose adjusted etc . After a few cycles they scan to see what progress has been achieved .

    A lot of the time nothing is imminent and families has to learn a state of new normalcy and how to continue living despite a difficult diagnosis.

    Your son will be therapy in himself . They bring so much joy .

    Take care,

    Court 

    Helpline Number 0808 808 0000