Hello, I'm very new to this - not just the fact that my brother has terminal cancer but talking about my feelings. I'm never one to let others in but we've had a fairly bad day and I need to know I'm not alone.
My brother, he's 18 and he's been diagnosed with Fibrolamellar. A rare form of cancer that attacks young people with healthy livers. Unfortunately for us, the cancer has spread and he is unable to have a liver transplant. We have been given 2-5 years and he was diagnosed in April 2022.
I'm the eldest and I live away from home but have come down to see his "progression" if lack of a better word. We've always been such a close family and although it isn't usually for us to share our feelings, I have to be honest and say that I struggle. I'm struggling. It only seems to really hit me at night when I'm alone and able to cry without anyone knowing.
My brother says he's just "existing" and occasionally he will share that he wonders about giving up sometimes. I completely understand he's just expressing his feelings but it's so hard to hear. I'd never tell him to stop saying these things as he needs us more than ever.
I have and can accept what is coming as shameful as that makes me feel. I'm worried about how our family will deal with this. But what I can't accept is a world without my little brother. We have good days and bad days but I wish on everything I have that I could take some of his pain and put it inside me so he wouldn't have to worry or feel it.
Has anyone found anything to help even on the bad bad days?
