Husband stage 3 kidney cancer, He's coping but I'm not

Hello Queen of Anxiety 

I am Brian one of the Community Champions here at Macmillan. I have just noticed your post has gone unanswered. I can't answer it myself as I have a different cancer, however by me replying it will be "bumped up" to the top of the forum and seen and I hope replied to by other members of the group.

It's not a problem having a "ramble" - this is the place to do it!!  Anxiety and cancer go hand in hand - do you have a "Maggie's" centre near you - this is a cancer support charity where you can drop in, have a brew and discuss cancer etc - here's a link for you - Maggie's.

Don't forger the Support Line is there for you BOTH on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm & days a week) with help and advice how to deal with anxiety.

If I can do anything else for you please do let me know.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hello Queen of anxiety,  

All I can say is I completely emphasise with you! My husband has had a CT scan today after a tumor was found on his kidney and now we are awaiting results.  

It's constantly on my mind and quite often I find myself bursting into tears! All I say is talking with my close family and friends really helps me. My husband and I talk about our fears etc and most the time I burst into tears again but it helps to know how we are both feeling and can best support our children. 

Your husband is going through the horrible physical side of the illness but you are both going through your own mental journey,  just keep talking ! 

Wishing you and your husband all the best! 

Hello 

I know exactly what your going through as my husband had one and a half kidneys removed due to cancer2yrs come May. 

You can't explain the feeling you get when you hear that news. He has been so brave about things where as I have been so stressed out and upset . I felt sick and just cried for weeks mainly at night and couldn't talk about it without bursting into tears. 

We are still fighting the fight and he gets follow up scans every 6 months. He does get exhausted and can't do the things he use to do and I know it's not easy for him but I'm grateful he's here with me .

He has been amazing and so proud of him . I wish you and your husband all the best for the future and if you need to let off steam just drop me a line and I will be only to happy to help if I can.

Take care

Jaxx

Thank you, it means a lot to know how I’m feeling is normal and I’m not alone x

Hello

You are definitely not alone and only people that are going through it know how your feeling . 

Take care 

Jaxx

Hi Queen of anxiety, you are not alone, my husband is currently in hospital having intensive treatment for AML. Whilst he is doing very well and being incredibly brave my emotions are all over the place. 
From the initial shock and crying stage I then became very emotionally numb but I am suddenly feeling angry and resentful towards him. 
I haven’t been able to talk to anyone else about my feelings for fear of bursting into tears. I am doing a great job of listening to him and containing his emotions. Due to the high risk of infection I have isolated myself so as not to take any infection into the hospital and pass it on to him and I don’t think he realises that I am not coping well. It makes me feel absolutely rotten to the core to be feeling so resentful that every conversation is about him and his treatment when I want to shout out “what about me!” Despite taking a sleeping tablet I have been awake crying since 3am. 
but even just typing out this message is making me feel better, it’s tough for the carers too xx

Hi Paula85

It is really hard for partners that are caring for loved ones . 

I know how you are feeling its so frustrating wanting to let off steam but staying strong at the same time. I cried for weeks and couldn't talk to anyone about it I suppose I didn't want it to be true and if I didn't talk about it wasn't happening. But I felt as if no-one could feel the pain I was going through then felt guilty for even thinking of me.

It's good to know there's people to talk to and knows what your going through.

Hope all goes well in the future for you both .

Jaxx