Hi, this is my first post after my Mother's terminal diagnosis 3 weeks ago.....

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Hello everyone, what a roller coaster the last 3 weeks have been!

My beautiful 71 year old Mum was diagnosed with kidney cancer 3 weeks ago after fracturing her arm just turning over in bed! I wouldn't have thought that was even possible. Isn't having cancer enough! She had been experiencing weight loss and a constant cough for 4 weeks before hand but the GP wasn't rushing tests and chasing up results so this was how she found out! (In fact it has been 5 weeks since a chest x ray and only now she receives the results that they identified cancer! Too late!!) We were shocked because she had been so well until a week before but the cancer had spread from a kidney to a lung to her chest, spine and metastasized to her arm hence the break! Her mobility in 3 weeks has become very poor and it seems there is a legion on the top of her leg. Her prognosis is 1-2 years and she has been advised to have a biopsy, have immunotherapy and radiotherapy for her arm and leg. She is also seeing a consultant for her fracture and has recently been asked to attend an orthopaedic consultation regarding the legion on her leg.

It's been so overwhelming and she said it's how the cancer has spread which has upset her rather than just having kidney cancer. She is on Morphine because her fracture is very very painful but this is causing constipation plus loss of focus, extreme tiredness and confusion. It doesn't help because she had to have an MRI and CT scan which need her remove her arm brace and it's agonising for her. She has a biopsy Monday and I'm so worried for her as they need to take the arm brace off again. I'm making sure she is having lots of rest days in between appointments but it doesn't seem to help a lot. She hasn't been eating much either. I've kept myself busy taking care of her (along with my brother) and sorting out benefits for her plus my husband, son and I offered for her to come and live with us (she is living on her own). We have work starting on our garage next week to convert it into a cosy habitable room where she can be loved, cared for and importantly have her own space and independence. It also means she can have daily hugs from our fluffy Cavachon dog. 

I have waffled I'm sorry but I think we're all still in shock. 4 weeks ago we were away in Somerset for the bank holiday! She is like a different person and I'm totally devastated. I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 17 and at 46 I can't imagine not having my Mum around. Before she was ill we saw each other most days and spoke daily. She is the biggest supporter and helper of my business (which I have now closed down) and such a key part of our lives. I can't imagine a half term or summer holiday when she isn't coming out on day trips with my son and I. But, for now, I'm being positive and hope that the Immunotherapy will help her be able to still enjoy some days out with us (she starts in 2 weeks).

If you've read this far, thank you. I'll sleep better now that's off my chest xx

  • Hello Turtle, I just wanted to say hi and send you and your family a huge virtual hug. I have a very early stage kidney and bowel cancer so I dont have any experience of the journey you on but there are so many positive stories on here about people with late stage disease. It sounds like you are already doing the best thing you can do which is to envelope your mum in love and keep positive. I have been reading radical Remission which is full of positive stories about cancer survivors and lots of information about cancer. 

    I'm sure there will be lots of people who will be able to advise you and give you comfort on here. I have found this site and peoples support invaluable. Take care. Kerry x