Hello

Hi Juju, so sorry to hear about your husband. I understand and empathise with you. My partner aged 42 was recently diagnosed and is awaiting surgery for the removal of a 15cm mass on his right kidney. He isn't currently receiving any treatment and his symptoms seem similar to what you describe. My partner was working 2 months ago as a self employed tiler. Now he can't climb the stairs without becoming breathless, coughing which often  leads to vomiting. He too spends most of the time in bed or laid ontne couch. He's lost weight (didn't have any to lose in the first place) and has little appetite although this improved slightly with the new anti sickness meds. He's anaemic, weak and has little to no energy so we don't go anywhere together anymore and intimacy is out of the window for the most part. We tend to just watch films or series' together. He has a "dodgy box" so it has loads of films on even new films, loads of old box sets too. Netflix, amazon prime, now TV. We've invested in them all! It passes the time and we chat about it as we watch. Love island, first dates and naked attraction tend to lighten the mood and get some laughs and banter which is refreshing when times are so bleak. 

Not sure if this helps at all but it's what we do to spend time together. We used to be out and about all the time so it's been a shock to the system but we've adapted,.not ideal but no choice in it so make the best of a terrible situation.  

Take care xx

Hi,

My husband is at  3 1/2 years since the same diagnosis as yours. He is still doing well but nearing the end of his 2nd line treatment. It can already be harrowing at times and my heart goes out to you.

Maybe you could go through old photos and videos, print them up and make notes on the back like we used to. Come up with a silly selfie idea every day, something with hats, fake hair/beards, props. Phone people together and ask them questions, write a list of what to ask before, funny/odd stuff like "what colour socks do you have on?" "How many pairs of pants do you own?". Anything except this is how he is. 

This is all I could come up with right now, and to be honest, I'll keep these ideas in my back pocket for when...

Much love

Sue

Thank you so much for your response. Best wishes to you xx

Thank you for your ideas. It's lovely just to make contact with someone xx