My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly after he collapsed. The post mortem said that he died of a large saddle pulmonary embolism and kidney cancer which was in both kidneys. One being 12 cm and the other 4 cm. Both had breach the capsule. This was such a shock as my husband was working the day before. He was 53 years old. 20 months previously he had a 3 metre fall which I am convinced that trigger the cancer. My husband did have some signs which was masked by the fall. My husband just started having tests and was due a CT on the Thursday. My husband hated the doctors and hospital and had just started a new job. He had appointment at the liver clinic on the Tuesday so I tried to move his CT scan appointment forward to the same day as his liver appointment but they couldn't do it. They offered the Sunday and I accepted as I didn't realise it was urgent referral. It was changed by 3 days and I never thought he was going to die suddenly. He died on the day the CT scan was due. I have never felt so much guilt in my life. I interfere and feel like I killed my husband changing his appointment. I keep thinking if saw the blood clot and removed it he would still be here now having treatment. So sorry for the long post and sorry that you are going through this. Sending big hugs.
I'm so sorry for the long post and sorry that everyone is going through it. Life is so unfair and cruel.
Hi Mylovely and a very warm welcome to the online community
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community and I just wanted to offer my condolences on the recent passing of your husband.
As you know, the online community is divided into different support groups so I hope you don't mind me suggesting that you also join and post in the bereaved spouses and partners group as you'll then connect directly with others who have lost a loved one due to cancer.
If you'd like to do this, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
Sending virtual ((hugs))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
