Husband has surgery today I’m so scared

I had a radical nephrectomy at 65. Yes I was warned about possible death but felt that I needed the operation so was prepared to take the chance. The surgeons have to tell you the risk! My tumour was cancerous but two years later I am fit and well having six monthly check ups. The operation is major but within two weeks I was feeling well and back to work after six weeks.

Dear Unicorn3

It's perfectly natural to worry, this is a new and unknown journey to each of us. Unfortunately it is, to some extent at least, a matter of seeing what happens and dealing with each issue as it arises, you've already seen aspects of this during your husband's diagnosis.

Having no symptoms is characteristic of many of us with this disease and is a good thing as it means we haven't progressed to that stage.

COVID19 means that hospitals are working in a different way to before but it is an appropriate way for the circumstances and helps to keep patients well, much better than the alternative. I was quite pleased that the wards are not full of visitors and of course that helps to maintain them as relatively calm places. You are not completely cut off and can use phone calls / video calls to keep in touch.

The surgeons are generally very upbeat and believe strongly in their ability to make you well again, sometimes to the point of leading you to believe that sugery is a guaranteed cure, which it is for some people. On the other hand, they are obliged to give warnings about worst case scenarios so that consent is suitably informed. There are always risks with surgery but in this case there are also risks attached to not having the surgery, the balance of benefit will be strongly in favour of going ahead. No doubt that having the tumour removed is the best thing to do.

Just remember that what is happening is for the best, although in circumstances you didn't expect to be in and are still coming to terms with.

It'll soon be over and then you should feel more able to relax.

Thank you for reaching out. I’m so glad you are doing so well! My husbands surgery went well, they removed the kidney and a 10lb tumour! As you said, major operation but much needed and are blessed it was an option. Take good care and thanks again 

Thank you so much for your kind words. My husbands surgery went well and the kidney and 10lb tumour were successfully removed. One of the surgeons called me whilst my husband was being closed up so I wasn’t waiting any longer which I thought was thoughtful and the nurses are being fantastic. Quite a road ahead obviously after such a big operation but we will walk it hand in hand together. 
I hope you are doing well and again thank you.

Hey love!

I'll be sending positive vibes to you and your husband.

I had one of my kidney removed due to a really big tumor that was growing in my abdomen as well (20 cm tumor weighting 3KG) Today is two months post surgery, and I understand how scary it is as I was scared myself.

Due to covid restriction I couldn't have any visit or have my partner and my mum joining me before surgery, I was freaking out.

I recovered really well, it wasn't a nice week at the hospital, and following weeks at home were pretty rough emotionnaly as feeling dependant on others and weak was not easy.

I started feeling a lot better 3 weeks after leaving the hospital, as I couldn't sit much or find a nice sleeping position at first. 

It is scary but please have faith in his surgeon's skills and knowledge, they are used to it, they know what they do, and they'll take great care of him !

Hey lovely! Thank you so much for your response. 
surgery went well they removed an 11lb tumour, apparently the size of a rugby ball and the kidney obviously but fortunately everything else was ok and nothing else needed to be removed. He’s doing well, although he’s not great at being on his own and as you know its not easy at all following surgery, he’s obviously happy when he achieves something but when something happens like he had a drop of blood pressure when he first stood up and fainted ( which he’s never done before) he freaks out, I know that’s a common thing to happen and he does really he just gets scared. Today they are looking to remove the epidural so hopefully he will take that as another small win on this journey! 
I’m so glad you’re doing well, bless you, and thank you again for your response, it really has helped ️

Hi unicorn, just to add what others have said...my 75 year old husband (at the time) also didn’t have any symptoms or pain, the only thing that made him go to the doctors was a slight bulge on his right side found on holiday, the doctor thought it was cysts, a ultrasound found that there was 2 of them, very big, appointment at hospital had him more or less on his last legs by saying they thought as it was so big it had gone up towards his heart and would need a very big operation. CT scan showed that it was big but not traveled. He had open surgery on the Tuesday where they removed 2 tumours both together 30cm, he was fine in hospital and came home on the Friday. That was just over 2 years ago, has no treatment but yearly CT scans. His is papillary rcc grade 2 pta. Just thought I’d let you know and hope your husband recovers well. X

Hi my love. I too had a nephrectomy last year. My tumour was cancerous,rather large. I had the op on the Wednesday and was home on the Friday. In hospital my blood pressure suddenly hit the floor but after being put on a drip it soon came right back up to normal. I'm a year on now and apart from the odd niggle and being a little tired( think thats an age thing tbh) I'm fine. Had my first 6 month scan which was delayed a few months cos of covid, fortunately nothing has spread. I still have a bit of discomfort a year on. I had keyhole surgery but also a 10 inch scar but thats healed ok. All will be fine, try not to worry xx