Young daughter still struggling to process dads cancer even though he’s better

Definitely not drastic, I would heartily encourage you find a counsellor even if only for one or two sessions. My daughters were 6 and 3 when I went into remission and they'd sailed through the process as they were really too young to appreciate what was going on... so I thought. When my eldest reached about 12, a teacher at her school was having cancer treatment and sadly died unexpectedly. Her reaction to this was quite dramatic, particularly as she didn't know him that well. Her very wise headteacher put 2 and 2 together, called me at home to tell me what was going on, assigned a spare LSA to her for the rest of the day and encouraged her to access their counsellor. I really think that having the opportunity to talk about it earlier and with someone outside the family would have been a good idea.

Thank you so much for your reply! I’ll contact her school and see if they have someone she can talk to in the first instance. They were so brilliant with her while her dad was poorly x

Hi SparklyGoose and welcome to the community. The effects of cancer coming into a family can be far more ranging than we first think and often there are delayed reactions.

I have been on my journey with my rare NHL for over 24 years so my 2 daughters were late teens early 20s when I was diagnosed...... but as my NHL was low grade it took 14 years before I had to have the big gun treatment, by then our daughters we married and our first 2 of 4 granddaughter had arrived.

But as I was not seeing the girls day out day in their experience was rather different....... I am now 7 years out from my second Stem Cell Transplant and doing great and as they could not see me at my worst they have a limited memories.

As HayleyAY says your first port of call is talking with her school.

Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat where you will find one of team there to help you out as they can search your area for counselling services.

Do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and do have specific support for children.

Something else that I think is helpful, if your daughter is interested, is doing some of the sponsored physical challenges. I took my eldest on a Race for Life (she very much walked!) some years ago and I've done the Mighty Hike in the past, taking measurable and physical action can really help people of all ages feel like they're making a contribution and combat feelings of helplessness. Cancer is a massive subject and potentially very overwhelming but if a child can actually see they're making a difference, it makes in-roads into the subject, if you see what I mean?