Update

Hi Moi

I had nasoendoscopy and 4 biopsies at my ENT appointment on the 2ww pathway on the Tuesday followed by a CT of neck and chest on Thursday and an MRI of neck on the Saturday.  I wasn’t told anything until I was seen back in clinic the following week when all the results were in. 

I was then referred to the oncologist who I saw on the Friday and that’s when treatment was discussed. 

I really feel your fear as it’s just an awful waiting game for you now and your mind goes through the worst case scenario. Hopefully things will be clearer for you on Monday when you get all your results. 

Take care lovely x

Ally

Moi said:

. How would he know it hadn't spread distant , unless treatment stays same regardless 

Distant spread is not common so it’s a guess based on years of experience.  The treatment is the same regardless of tumour size( just the area irradiated changes)

if there is distant spread then the treatment does change. 

A guess can build hope , and to give a plan on top gives more hope . Let's hope his guess is correct . 

Fingers crossed for you xx

Hi distant spread like Dani says is rare. I had 7 lymph nodes by time if my pet c t  scan at biopsy stage I had 3 lymph nodes showing on scan. Treatment started 10 days after pet ct scan treatment was 35 radiotherapy I had 2 of planned chemo rarely do we get all the chemo if you gave any issues. My 3 rd was cancelled after consultation with oncologist I had cooed v well with 2 why push my luck as I had a very slight ringing in my ear. Tinnitus may have occurred with 3 rd dose. Plus the lymph nodes I could see had gone. I’m approaching 8 years now since treatment finished. 
I had local spread to soft palate as well. 
hpv driven right tonsil 

Hugs Hazel 

Thank you , 

Can't explain how this chat is helping me through this weekend . I appreciate all your comments and it's clear you all care very much. I'm just in a dark place , thinking the worst ,maybe as a kind of protection . I don't know . Thank you so much x

Hi Moi. Honestly we’ve all been there. Whilst I was waiting  ti see oncologist I knew i had tonsil cancer but i was certain I was going to die. I even went in my dreams to my own funeral it was real I woke up screaming. I didn’t think I would live long enough tj see my tomatoes ripen that year. Never mind see our grandson who was 8 go to high school. I did he’d nearly 16 now abd has a girlfriend eeek. 
I almost showed my hubby how to do online banking that was how  sure I wasn’t going to Live. 

stick with us we will hold your hand. Ps I also cried in kitchen floor at 3 am many s morning whilst waiting. 
hugs Hazel xx

Im sticking with you all regardless. Thank you for sharing that . It's exactly how I feel right now. Knowing others have felt this helps . So glad things worked out for you . That brought a smile to me xx

Moi said:

Knowing others have felt this helps

I am an eternal pessimist. I always see the downside of anything. When I had a pothole in my road to recovery I knew beforehand that would hit it. When everything ended up OK I was numb with disbelief. My oncologist was the only one who understood (my husband, Stan is constantly upbeat and throws defeat over his shoulder as he marches on, regardless) saying that we all react differently and in his opinion always expecting the worst scenario is common and is self defence, the only way some people cope with an unplanned disaster.

When I was diagnosed I put my affairs in order and made hard copies of how to run the house. Like many couples I manage our lives while Stan fixes things. Talking him through transferring stuff from one phone to another, from one computer to another new one makes me want to give up life!

My one overriding overwhelming emotion was guilt at what I was going to put my family through....stupid isn't it? I knew I was going to die of this disease. Instead, my oncologist told me that he was going to really fry the back of my throat (charming bedside manner)  that my cancer was going to take a year out of my life but that if I did what I was told he would cure me and I would get better. ALL of that was true.

I truly believe that even miserable people get better. it's just that cheerful folk have an easier ride.

So no matter how you feel, you'll get through this and it will soon just be a distant memory. It will change you, but life does that anyway

Thinking of you tomorrow 

Ally x