Feeling so low

Oh poor you. I know how you feel. It doesn’t get better until a good few weeks after you’ve finished. So take a deep breath, take all your pain relief by the clock, tell your radiographers every day how you feel so they can pass on any problems to your team. Use your feeding tube to keep your weight up just put your head down and get on with it. 
What support do you have at home? 

Hi Dani, I have an amazing husband at home who will do anything for me.  Actually, not long after I wrote this I was looking for something to tempt my appetite and he came into the kitchen.  He took one look at me and I burst into tears. I'm more a bottle it up person than a cryer but I really let it out.  I don't have a feeding tube but the team I am with have brought forward my review to Wednesday next week with a view to fitting an NG. I'm a little concerned as I have had surgery on my sinuses and nose and I have a hole in my nose which caused problems with the NG the first time they fitted it. I really think though that the stress of trying to eat and hit my target for calories is overwhelming me. 

I know it’s overwhelming and it must have been heartbreaking for your husband to see you cry. He will be feeling totally helpless. All he wants to do is take your pain. 
Sweetheart, this is doable. You can do it. 
Don’t panic. It’s panic that really stuffs us out of nowhere. 
Masses of us have done it. So will you. 
It won’t matter if you don’t eat much for a few days. Before I had my NG put in I didn’t eat anything for three days. The hospital put me in a drip, gave me morphine and I was fine…. Ish! 

This is a really tough time as the treatment is not a walk in the park. I felt much the same as you around week 4 and was finding it tough to go on. I spoke to my radiotherapy doctor and he upped my pain killers and that made a difference although it never fully covered the pain. Finding food that suits is hard especially when you are feeling low and in pain. I did not have a feeding tube as my cancer was for the jaw so my swallow was not affected but in spite of that I lost 10k.g. You can only keep your head down and forge on as you are nearly half way there and you can do this. 

When you get the NG tube that will make a difference. It does definitely get better, take it one day at a time and tick them off your calendar and it will all be over. It is worth it although it may not seem it at the time.

Lyn

It does get better, but it takes time. 

Perhaps not what you want to hear, but focus on giving treatment and recovery a year of your life to gain many more great years of living.  I can barely remember the bad bits about my treatment and the early days of recovery now I am 2 years down the road since my last round of treatment.  Photos keep popping up on my phone ("This day 2 Years Ago"!!!) that I took during treatment and I can see just how bad it did get.  I can't remember that bit at all without the photos jogging my memory.  Now I travel and enjoy life so much.  I hope you will in the future.

It is difficult to look forwards at this stage, but try to hold onto the fact of a bright future in front of you.

Hello I am so sorry you are going through this, it does get better.  Take your meds and one day at a time, thats what I did. Am 15 weeks post treatment and things have improved alot. x

Like everyone is saying, just try and hang in there, My HH is now on day 26 since treatment ceased (radio and chemo 35 + 10) and is just starting to eat TINY amounts this week....egg yolks, poached or fried ( I get to eat the frilly white fried bits!!) and very creamy mashed potato so far the winners..... cold milk and squished weetabix also got him started.  Its not at ALL surprising you are emotional, I think everyone is during this testing time. XX 

Debbie N26 said:

egg yolks, poached or fried

If he likes eggs try scrambled with full fat cream cheese to keep it soft. Sweet potato is much easier than ordinary spud. 

Hi Dani, I have only just come back to my post. I had my last chemo on Monday and this week has been tough. I have 2 weeks RT to go and know I have to summons the energy from somewhere. I have large sores internally in my nose, both nostrils, and the mucus is building. My weight had stabilised last week but I've just done my weekly Sunday weigh and I'm 2½ down.  I know after my first chemo treatment that the after affect hit hard but moved on after a few days.  Hopefully this will move on soon.  

Just hold on. Come here every day if you need to cry on our collective shoulders. One day at a time. You’ll do it.