Happy Father's Day

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Happy Father's day everyone I find myself posting here again, June has been the hardest month grief wise so far. I had my birthday on the 1st, Dad's on the second then fathers Day today. It's been a consistent barrage of reminding of the loss that's happened. 

I'm looking into trying to get bereavement councilling but honestly I don't think anyone can do anything for me, with everything that's happened over the past five years, because it was one thing after another right until the end I never had a chance to stop and process what was happening, I find that's it's come back to bite me especially this month. 

I find myself lingering on the day he passed a lot. He had so many close calls and I just thought he'd bounce back again, I haven't accepted his loss. He's the first family member I have lost. I'm hoping time will heal but so far I'm still very wobbly emotionally, not that anyone around me could tell but inside I am. 

I do my best for Ollie because he deserves a happy Mum, and that's what he gets. 

But today my husband has taken Ollie out for a meal with his dad and I'm by myself with my thoughts and the grief. I'll use this alone time to probably clean my house and get all my crying out before they come home. 

I think I just needed to get these feelings out somewhere and I found myself posting here as I've done many a time. Thankyou all for your continued support, it's appreciated more than you'll ever knHeartsow. Hearts