Nearing the end of week 2 of husband's radiotherapy and I'm feeling incredibly anxious

Hi Fry7b5361, as you were told at the review the side effects usually start at around week 3, there is a lot of medication they will give him to help with these side effects when they start, just be sure to keep his team updated about them, so they can help. Once his treatment is over, he will start on his recovery. this is when the side effects start to wear off slowly, some take longer than others, some people take longer to recover than other people, there is no real set time. Any long-lasting side effects we can learn to live with and they become what is often called the new normal. He will not be a changed man; he will always be the man you married. Be reassured these cancers respond very well to the treatment, with very high cure rates, and people go on to have good long lives.

Ray.

Thank you 

Fry7b5361 said:

I feel like every radiotherapy session I go to I'm a willing participant in throwing him to the lions !! 

That’s because you are in less control than even him. This passes I promise. The cancer will take a year out of both your lives but honest life returns to nearly as it was and treatment becomes a distant memory. I’m the old cantankerous self I always was. I don’t think I’m a better person at all but I’m certainly not a worse one. I’m here along with  others like me, like Ray and Peter and Hazel, helping out. My only tie with the hospital now is to send my surgeon and oncologist honey for Christmas and the nurses a big bowl of fruit and chocolates. Life is good and I’m looking forward every day. You two will as well but in the meantime take what the treatment throws at you, make sure your husband does what his doctors tell him to and all will be well. 

Thanks Dani. 5 weeks seems such a long way right now. And it's pretty tedious going already without side effects! Tell me it starts to pass more quickly?! 

Fry7b5361 said:

Tell me it starts to pass more quickly?! 

Not sure about that. I just ticked the days off then went home to sleep for two weeks. I forgot about the pain pretty quickly….. a bit like childbirth, it was worth it and I had my life as the prize. 

Possibly the most important thing you are doing is going with him to the RT sessions.  You are there to support him if and when he needs it.  And he will need it in due course.

In many ways I, as a patient, recognise that our loved ones actually have a harder time emotionally than we do during treatment and recovery.  As a patient I had a measure of control over what was happening.  My wife did not and just held on "for the ride".  But despite her own fears and emotional turmoil she was there for me when I needed her.

Try to find someone to talk to bout your fears and feelings.  The hospital I was treated in had a wonderful Maggies centre which rescued my wife on a number of occasions.  If there is a Macmillan centre they will be able to listen and reassure you.

It will get tougher as the weeks go on.  There are very, very few who sail through this treatment.  Likewise there are very, very few who find nothing in their quality of life at the end of treatment.  The vast majority of us recover to a new normal that is good - different, but good - and go on to have a wonderful life with family and friends making some adjustments to manage the longer lasting side effects.

You and he will make it through and be able to enjoy many more years of good times through sacrificing a few months of pain.  Stay with us.

Hi If it helps I’m still me warts and al all I’m not a new me I’m me ,cancer hasn’t and I won’t let it define  me. Like Dani says  it took a year out of my life and my hubbys. But had given us many more than the alternative if not doing treatment.

. I was 61 when diagnosed and a wimp I would cry at the drop if a hat but I put my big girl knickers on and I got through treatment with my hubby by my side. Best advise when the pain starts make sure he takes the medication and uses the peg or ng tube if needed. There’s no points awarded for being brave. Part if what you are  feeling is you've no control,over what happens but trust the process they are the experts they do this day in day out. I’m a control freak but I couldn’t  t influence anything apart from do as i was told which I did do., My second chemo wasn’t any worse than the first chemo the treatment just builds up and let him listen to his body if he needs sleep let him. Thus time next year ut will be a distant memory take each day one day at a time keep eye on the end result our type of cancer has  excellent cure rates. 
Hugs Hazel x