Me again….brain going into worry mode

Kate. Your mum's cancer is T4 which means it has spread locally as well as to her lymph nodes. It means that surgery would need to be extensive; enough to cause life changing effects. It also means that the radiotherapy has to target a larger area which will make the treatment tougher. Chemotherapy adds around 6% to chance of cure but it makes the effects of RT more severe. Add to that it affects the heart and your mum is an old lady. Her oncologist wants to kill the cancer not your mum. I met a chap in hospital when I was having RT who had a heart attack and they had to pause his RT for two weeks. That reduced his chances of survival significantly.

Your mum's oncologist is doing the best for your mum. There is no "full treatment" we each get a tailored regime because we are individual and our cancers are too.

My cancer was inoperable as it was at the back of my tongue and although smaller at T2, surgery would have produced drastic changes and I would have had to have RT on top anyway. I didn't have chemo either and I am fit and well over six years later

I was 67/68 when going through Chemoradiotherapy for head and neck cancer, no surgery. It did impact negatively on my quality of life for around a year. At 81 your oncology team will be looking at the treatment from all angles and going  for the best options available to cure the cancer.

Cure being the operative term.

Hi I didn’t have  a tonsillectomy I have no surgery as my cancer has spread to my anterior wall and my tonsil and the soft palate area along with seven lymph nodes. The surgery would’ve been drastic. I would’ve been left unable to swallow and possibly even talk and it’s true the chemo is a top up ti the radiotherapy. I only had 2 of planned 3 chemo many only manage 1 of planned 5.

Chemo is toxic and at her age could force her not have radiotherapy. I’ve been on this forum over seven years and it’s quite often people over the age of 70 -75  don’t get offered for chemo for precisely that reason the 6% chance that it adds to the end result isn’t worth risking the toxicity that your mum at 81 could incur

. It’strue that you want the best for your mum, but as Dani says they’re trying to kill the Cancer not your mum the extra chemo  add just isn’t worth at her age. Try to keto off dr google you’ll end up down a rabbit hole   Hugs Hazel 

Thank you Dani. I really appreciate you reaching out again. Another 6 years of a healthier (ish) mum would be the best outcome! X

Thanks Hazel. My late night brain is working OT. I will try to stay off Google and just concentrate on the here & now x

Thanks Mickey. Yes the last thing I want is health complications for her at this stage of her life. She is so well physically and mentally and I would hate her to suffer. I will stop comparing treatments..promise! 

My husband had radiation only and is now cancer free.  Surgery was not an option for him as the cancer started in his tonsil and there were cancer cells in the soft palate and base of his tongue.  He is 63 and recovering well.  Best of luck to your mom!!

Hi Dani

Try not to worry, which is a ridiculous thing to say as it makes us worry more.

Ive spent a lot of time in hospitals for various conditions and spoken to a lot of consultants, both for me and my parents. Be assured the NHS considers many issues before deciding treatments but age is not one of them. Your mums treatment will be tailored to her particular health issues. My tongue cancer was a prime candidate for surgery but they wouldn’t do that due to my history of heart problems. They are very conscientious about giving her the best chance of a good life.

david