Hello you lovely people,
I'm a single dad of young boys.
Yesterday, my dentist said he was referring me for a biopsy of the apparent ulcer on my tongue.
This came as quite a shock.
For about 5 months, I'd had sharp teeth irritating my tongue and mouth.
Eventually, I went to the dentist. Never even considered anything sinister.
A month ago, he filed down one sharp tooth and scheduled a follow up appointment.
At this new appointment yesterday, he filed down the other sharp tooth I'd identified, then talked about the referral.
He said my ulcer was "quite large" and hadn't healed in the way he'd expect.
Ever since that moment, I've found myself almost frozen with fear, as if I've actually received a diagnosis of mouth cancer.
Which I know I haven't, but I can't help imagining worst case scenarios, which really doesn't help.
Neither was a GP especially helpful when I went to see her yesterday afternoon. She couldn't give me any perspective, or any odds, or any reassurance really, apart from to say it was "promising" (I think that's the word she used) that the lump on the side of my tongue hasn't bled and is painful.
She also made vaguely positive noises when I told her I have what might be lichen planus elsewhere on my body.
Really glad to arrive here to chat with people who've been where I suddenly find myself now.
Looking through some of the posts, I can already see people in my exact position and it makes me feel less neurotic.
I can't decide whether this thing being on my tongue makes it better or worse. After all, I can SEE it. I'm looking at this thing and wondering if it's cancer.
I'm just still at the point where I'm tearing up at the thought of having to leave my boys behind. This can't happen.
Tomorrow, they're coming to stay for the weekend, so I need to pull myself together. Thought I'd come on here and also allow myself one day of worry and self-indulgent comfort food, ha!
Wine may also be involved.
If my situation once applied to you, or still does apply to you, how do/did you feel?
And did anyone decide to go private, to speed up the biopsy? If so, did it actually speed anything up, in your experience?
Right... I think that's more than long enough for a first post. Thanks for reading. :) :( :) :(
That’s a normal thought and reaction - I felt the same, in my case my wife is an amazingly positive person and takes the opposite view so balances me.
I think we’ve both said before, to think of the positive would mean a huge drop if it was not so positive.
But there again, revel in your achievements of this week - you’ve done your bit, nothing you do or think can change the results, deal with them at the next appt and you’ll have that amazing hospital team there to help you , plus us all routing for you.
Before you know it - you’ll be on your treatment and fighting it all the way !
Thank you Nige! I am indeed taking time this weekend to rest, recuperate and feel kinda pleased with myself for having faced the fear this week. 
