New member, and really wish I was aware of these forums sooner as they look a great place to share experiences and seek advice.
In March this year my world was turned upside down when, at the age of 48, I was diagnosed with HPV Head and Neck Cancer. For a few weeks prior to diagnosis I'd had problems with my mouth and was occasionally spitting up some blood. Initially dentist thought infection and gave anti-biotics. Then the following week my GP thought the same and changed anti-biotics. Only when I mentioned the blood did I get referred to ENT.
Straight away the Doctor wanted to take biopsy of my tonsil and the following week I received the bad news. The oncologist confirmed cancer in my tonsil and had also spread to my neck (I wasn't even aware of the big lump that was on it !) Whilst she said they didn't typically stage this type of cancer, it would be classed as Stage 4 - at that point my heart sunk.
30 blasts of radiotherapy and 2 loads of chemo was my treatment and - like many have said on here - it was absolutely brutal. Lost nearly 3 stone in weight over the period and had to spend the last week of treatment in the Western General in Edinburgh as had become too weak to stay at home.
Now 3 months since treatment ended and I'm due my scan in the next week. Looking for advice on the best way to cope with the anxiety of it all ? Every night I'm going to bed convinced it's going to be bad news and either more treatment awaits or even the Doctors telling me not to make plans for Christmas ! I'm naturally quite anxious anyway but it's absolutely through the roof now.
Eating too is a real chore. Swallowing still quite difficult so I need to eat a lot of saucy (mild !) or watery foods. Things like crisps, biscuits, bread etc are a big no no as they just turn to goo in my mouth and I can't swallow. My tongue is super-senstive to toothpaste too so brushing teeth is a real pain, and that's before I start on the toothache (dentist tell me a common symptom from dry mouth).
Physically I do feel well - apart from the mouth - and actually quite happy with my new weight. Haven't needed to use the feeding tube for a couple of months so I'm hoping if I get good news at my scan it can come out - got a holiday booked to Spain for next month and the thought of that is all that's keeping me smiling at the minute.
Apologies for the long winded post, and huge thanks to anybody and everybody who read it to the end !
Thanks for the reply and welcome 
Last week the dietician and the speech & language team discharged me, which gave me a huge boost, and her advice changed from the previous "calories, calories and more calories" to trying to eat healthy (something I was never particularly good at).
Managing stuff like Spag Bol, chicken stir fry etc and the other day I decided I was going to eat a BK Whopper no matter what. Took 45 minutes to get through it lol and it was stone cold, but it tasted great even if it didn't do my mouth any favours.
On the other hand, went out for a curry couple of weeks back and managed one mouthful and it was the mildest one they had on the menu !
The oncologist did talk about the treatment being curative and gave me odds of "8 or 9 out of 10" which I guess is as good as any doctor would ever give. Naturally I focused immediately on being in the other 1 or 2 !
Reading these forums now and seeing how amazingly well people are doing though has definitely lifted my spirits and I will go into next week's scan with a bit more confidence than I had before.
