Partner with stage 3 tonsil cancer

Hi Kingsley.
So sorry to hear about your partner. 
Are they referring to a radical neck dissection? Because that is very aggressive surgery and she has already had radiotherapy to the area which will delay healing. 
I think you have to sit down with her team and make sure they explain properly. 

I hope you get an answer soon 

Hi Kingsley, sometimes surgery is not possible due to the location of the cancer. My husbands cancer was too close to the main carotid artery and vegus nerve, and this meant they wouldn’t get clear margins they need. If they say surgery is not possible, ask them to explain the reasons why. I hope you can get the explanation you seek and they can provide an alternative strategy if it’s not possible. 

they said before treatment started that if it wasn’t successful they could do a salvage operation which was to go in and swipe it all out. Wil ask on Monday as in my head I am thinking what has changed that you say you can’t now. Our oncologist was the one who said surgery unlikely but will confirm with surgery team Monday

 Hi mate sorry to hear your story I had 35 radio and 3 cisplatin 9 years ago for stage 3 my cancer couldn’t do surgery to close to vital organs your poor wife has had a awful time just wish you good luck mate xx

Hi Jim 

thanks for the reply and I hope you are well. Sadly Karen passed away in December 2023 as she wasn’t well enough to have immunotherapy after chemo and radiotherapy didn’t work.

life is so precious 

Hi Kingsley 

So sorry to hear your news and actually thanks for having the courage to pop back here so long after you last posted 

Kingsley said:

life is so precious

It is. How are you in yourself? 

Im ok thanks I try to just remember the happy moments and not the 9 months of hell we both went through. Sometimes I wonder of she didn’t have any treatment how much longer I could have had with her. 
will never know 

Hi Kingsley

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your partner. It’s such a harsh treatment and a brutal journey for those of us who have H&Ncancers and our loved ones who are by our sides through it all.

Death is a heartache that sadly no one can heal but hold onto and cherish the memories you  have of her and the special times you shared.

Debbie