Palliative radiotherapy

Hello Onlychild and welcome to the group.

I guess from your user name that you don't have any siblings (like me).  That makes what you are going through doubly tough. 

My first thought is that you need to understand what your dad wants knowing that this sounds like a terminal cancer and the treatment being offered is purely to make him more comfortable. As I think you have realised the benefits of the treatment may be outweighed by the side effects.  I've only had surgery not radio so can't speak to what may happen after those relatively short doses.

It is your responsibility to have an open and honest conversation with your dad about where he finds himself, then follow his wishes to the best of your ability.  I hope that does not sound like I am preaching to you! 

If you need help outside of the wonderful advice given here please go back to his cancer team Macmillan team.  They will help guide you and your dad to his preferred choice of treatment, or not.

All the best

Hi only child. Sorry you’ve found yourself on here. Can’t add anything to Peters excellent reply just ask the consultant what would  10 doses give your dad. For me I had 35 fisss the first 10 I hardly noticed any change but if your dad is so frail ask what benefits he woukd have 

hugs Hazel 

Hello only child.

my dad too was diagnosed on 1 sept and was given the option of palliative radiotherapy. He decided not to go through with it as he was given weeks to months but not many months (the drs words) so we thought we didn’t want him to have to go through that as it can be very painful and also the whole going to the hospital every day would have just taken it out of him as he only walks around the house.  The doctor did agree it was the best decision for him. He also has end stage liver disease so hasn’t been well for some time.

 My dad was also sleeping a lot, very frail, not eating only drinking. I think we are now looking at final days with dad but we did manage a few trips to the pub in the wheelchair and lots of family days at home. he is now in a hospice for pain management and hopefully going back home for his final days with us. 

My thoughts are with you and your family at this extremely difficult time. 

Hi Peter,

Thank you for taking the time to reply. 
Yes you’re right, I am an only child but blessed my parents with 4 grandchildren so just when they thought it was quiet, the chaos started  

He’s happy to try the treatment, and I would never discourage him in anyway, Dad knows best ️I was just worried how it would take its toll on his already weak and frail body. Yes you’re right, it’s just about making him comfortable now, he’s so depressed as he only got his diagnosis 4 weeks ago and he thought the doctors may have been able to do more but it’s too advanced.

I hope your treatment is going well Peter and I wish you all the very best.

Hi Hazel, 

Thank you for your reply. That would be a good start by asking the consultant. That would be down to my mom as restrictions are quite tight at the hospital at the moment but thank you for that advice. I’m glad it didn’t effect you too much,  you appear to be doing great! 

Hi I was lucky pre COVID I found a lump in neck and was treated 63 days from first going to drs. All I can do is send hugs and hope your dad is made comfortable. Keep in touch.

Hazel 

Hi squirrels

I’m so sorry to read how poorly your dad is too. I hope you get him home very soon so you can all be together. It sounds like you’ve made some lovely memories along the way too. I wish I could say the same. My dad has been poorly for some time but wouldn’t go to the doctor no matter how much my mom nagged him, and he just started getting thinner and not being able to eat solid food and bringing up anything liquid too as he just couldn’t swallow anything. He gave in in the end due to breathing problems and even then my mom called the doctor for him. 2 weeks later he was admitted into hospital and they put him on a NG feeding tube then the RIG, thankfully he is out weight on even though looking at him you wouldn’t think it. He’s struggling to get around too…he was decorating 6 weeks ago and now he’s so poorly and it’s so sad to see.

my thoughts are with you and your family too. Thank you so much for your reply x 

Hi Hazel, 

My dad found a lump in his neck too and did nothing about it. All the nagging in the world didn’t make a difference. He regrets that now and has said it himself, we’ve watched him decline over the last few months and couldnt do a thing and it’s been heartbreaking. 
Thank you Hazel. They’re much needed at the moment. I’ll take a read of your journey and cheer myself up I think. Take care x

Hi Onlychild

it sounds like we are going through something similar my dad was also diagnosed with advanced mouth cancer. He was due an operation on 13th October and just before he was being taken into theatre they said he has an infection in his tumour! (Just our luck) they then decided to do another mri/ct scan and found his tumour had grown. We were told they can no longer operate as they cannot make a clean cut and now radiotherapy is his only option. He has been offered 20 sessions over 4 weeks, like your dad he’s in so much pain and sleeps so much! It’s so hard to see!

They have told us the radiotherapy should help ease the pain within a couple of weeks, I wish your dad all the best.. try stay strong.. every time I get weak I look at my dad and he gives me the strength to carry on!

Each step of this journey we have been hit with bad news the only hope was the operation and that too was taken away from us!

Hi Mooo,

You’ve all gone through these hurdles just to be hit with more bad news, it feels like it’s never ending doesn’t it? And an infection in the tumour?? Like having the tumour isn’t enough!  I can’t imagine how your Dad must be feeling just like I can’t imagine how mine is feeling but the look on his face says it all, the light has gone, he’s so down. He can now only manage one/two word sentences but before he went into hospital 4 weeks ago he could talk fine albeit quite nasaly sounding so I dread to think how much this tumour has grown in that time! The odd thing is he’s not in any pain at all, I am so grateful for this. I hope his treatment starts soon, we had the local hospice nurse come in today, she couldn’t even take my dads blood pressure because the sleeve kept dropping off his arm because he is so thin. They asked him where he’d like to spend the rest of his time too. My dad expected to go into hospital, the surgeons cut all the nasties away and he’d be ok, he really wasn’t expecting this. He did leave going to the doctors in the beginning though but he was scared, but now it looks like it’s too late. 
Thank you so much for your reply. I hope your dads treatment goes as best as it can and relieves him of all pain and makes him more comfortable. Sending you and your family love and strength.

keep in touch x