Waiting for treatment.

Still struggling with my anxiety. Another check up tomorrow; hopefully I’ll feel better after that. Just at home on my own. Thoughts running around my head. At least another couple of months before the chance of an all clear. Started some online group therapy sessions on zoom with the NHS. Will see how that pans out. Started drinking again. Only in the evenings but it’s the only break I get from myself. What a mess. Making sure I have enough fortysips so I don’t end up back in hospital. That wasn’t good. Need to try eating some proper food. I think I can taste a bit, although I think it’s still weak. Will feel better later when my wife’s home. Sorry to go on but the last few weeks have been tough. It’s been worse, but it’s still pretty bad. Need to contact my GP again for some more help; probably tomorrow or Thursday. Thanks for reading. Rich. Will I ever feel normal again? Or happy?

Hi Richy. Yes you will feel happy and normal again at least I do every day. I’m 4 years post treatment and an normal abs happy . Great you think taste is coming back that’s progress   To try food but not something that’s your absolute favourite as it may disappoint   Poached eggs are a good place to start. Maybe a custard cream dipped into coffee I coujd do that but not drink the coffee ti start with. As fir drink try not to let it over rule your life. You’ve got a 2 nd chance don’t spoil it. Good re therapy. Let us know how tomorrow goes. 
Hazel xc

Hi Richy, hang in there, I found tinned rice pudding easy to swallow, eventually I started eating tinned soup too. My taste buds changed a lot. I've been off work a year come this weekend. I don't have anyone visiting me anymore, so totally alone. Keep going, you will cope and get through it. If you start thinking too much put TV or music on. Take your mind off things. Hope some of this helps. 

Hi Rich

Hope clinic ok tomorrow. It becomes a reassurance more than anything. 

14 months on life is mostly normal, I am very happy and although I do my exercises daily to stop jaw stiffening days go by without me reflecting on the past couple of years. When I do its mostly a case of wow and being grateful  

Hopefully the therapy can help. 

Food gets better. Taste, textures and variety improve. I don't love it like I used to, but that is for the best!! I do enjoy more meals though than even a couple of months ago. Keeping hydrated helps.

Let them know your stuggles in clinic. Have you got a dietician assigned? Mine really helped me get back to eating properly. 

Take care, Gill

Hi Gill.
Apologies for jumping on this thread but I’m looking for any help as far as eating goes. Can I ask how your dietician helped you with eating? I’ve not found mine to be very helpful. I feel I’m on my own & struggling. 

Hi Blod

im Hazel 4 years post treatment almost 

This  may help you 

https://www.yumpu.com/en/document/view/66263025/cookbook-by-andrew-gaylor-head-and-neck-cancer-survivor-2022

It a guide to starting to eat  with ideas  it may help yiu. I started  with poached eggs then introduced well buttered toast crumpets .i went along the mantra of eat to live not live to eat. I forgot about any pleasure derived from food it was a means to an end. Thjnk nursery food bland and soft. 
Hope it helps  helps Hazel tips in my blog below as well 

This is really good. I struggled with the books available last year 

Hi Gil yes it’s a useful booklet. Glad it may help you. 
Hazel 

Hi Blod,

It was some of the tips more than a full diet plan.

She sent me lots of soup, juice and smoothie samples to help and supplement what I could manage.

Some daft things that helped were using smaller cutlery, so smaller mouthfuls. Also smaller portions. I got bored very quickly in the early days. Little and often helped. I still find too large a portion over facing.

I made my own veg stock as many too salty. I used this for soups and sauces. 

Odd combinations helped. I didn't get on well with puree / mash. Dry mouth made the texture intolerable. I still don't like mash, or peas! 

Initially soft white 'wet' bread, lightly toasted with lashings of butter. As eating got better thin brown bread much easier as less craggy.

Creme caramel, Angel delight, jelly all good. Easy to slip down and avoid ulcers.

 Wet sauces, mainly creamy with pasta/ fish. I made beetroot pasta sauce rather than tomato as less acidic. 

I hate wasting food, but likes and dislikes changed daily, so it was inevitable.

Weetabix, a bit of sugar, protein powder and lots of milk were easy and a good standby. 

I had ensure, altraplen or weetabix as a standby if I had to abandon a meal.

There were tears and tantrums, but I can eat a more or less normal diet now. 

Hope some of this helps

Gill 

Hi again Rich

Just back from Pip's bedtime walk. Was reflecting on your last question.

Just over a year ago I was celebrating smashing off a weetabix in 90 minutes and very much rationing conversation. Today I ate breakfast with a load of strangers and presented to them. Then I interviewed a couple of applicants. None of them know about my past couple of years, none of them would have had a clue. So, yes normal is absolutely possible. 

Hang in there and keep fighting for the good times. 

Take care and be kind to yourself, Gill