Caring for my grandad with terminal parotid gland cancer

Hello DingDong. Welcome to our community. So sorry to hear about your Dad. Your emotions must be running riot. It must be very hard for you knowing you’re marking time waiting for the inevitable. Your heart must be breaking. 
You seem to have done all the right things to look after your Dad but please don’t forget yourself.  
There is a good group in the community for carers only. It’s very active and supportive so do take a look in there 

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/carers-only-forum

Take care and best wishes 

hi 

Your grandad is very lucky to have you around. But has Dani says  please don’t forget about yourself. Yes cancer does  throw everything at you. You’ve nothing to feel selfish  about. Please get all the help you can  

Hazel

Hi Ding Dong

I am so sorry to hear about your grandad’s illness. It is a sad and emotional  time for you and your family. Although your grandad is getting a bit snappy know that you are his real support and without you he would be really struggling. He must be feeling really frustrated and scared and it’s true that you always hurt the ones you love.

I had to watch my mother at the age of 94 fade away in much the same way and she became very snappy towards my father although normally she was a lovely person. I could see how frustrated she became. I knew it wasn’t the real her and that she needed lots of emotional support.

You are doing an amazing job in this really difficult time but as the others said do look after yourself as well. Make sure you get a break on a regular basis while someone else comes in to be with your grandad. This might mean more professional help in the future so don’t soldier on alone if it becomes really tough physically to manage.

I am thinking of you and your grandad during this very difficult time.

Lyn

Hi DingDong

I understand exactly what you're going through as my 94 year old father in law moved in with us so we could care for him.   We found it very distressing.

As Sophie66 has said, do make sure you get help from professionals in all available quarters.  Hopefully you're also in touch with Macmillan and your grandad's GP so they can escalate care and meds when necessary?  I found I was on the phone almost every day to the Macmillan nurse seeking help and advice.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.  You're not being selfish at all - you're a human and your thoughts and feelings will be all over the place while you try to navigate such a stressful time.   I'm sure your grandad will be so grateful to be cared for so lovingly by his family.

Linda x