Husbands Cancer Diagnosis

  • 85 replies
  • 81 subscribers
  • 2955 views

I find myself on this forum anxious afraid, emotional, not eating not sleeping and generally not dealing with the situation very well. 
my husband has a large mass on his right side of his neck, this started to affect his voice and swallowing obviously this prompted him to go to the doctors that was on the 19th of Jan since then it has been a rollacoster to say the least.

He has had bloods, CT, camera’s down the nose, biopsy and MRI. Over the weekend he developed another swelling on his left side of the jaw which caused his unbearable pain which led to a trip to a&e and admission to head and neck ward. After morphine, steroids and IV antibiotics he’s do ok but still significant swelling.

We attended another consultant appointment on Monday this week and I just hate that stomach churning feeing knowing it’s probably more bad news. The consultant said the new left mass is now likely to be cancer to. They cannot locate the primary the mri showed maybe tonsil area he’s due to have a PET scan in the coming days.

My husband is now booked in for a tonsillectomy, exploration of the throat and possibly more biopsy depending on what they see and a PEG feed insertion followed by chemo as soon as possible. Does all this sound like normal practice and is it normal to have this constant fear inside. I just don’t want to see him in pain and I need to be stronger then I am right now for him and for our three teenager boys.

  • Also forgot to mention the initial core biopsy from his right lymph node tumour is HPV+.

  • My husband is now booked in for a tonsillectomy, exploration of the throat and possibly more biopsy depending on what they see and a PEG feed insertion followed by chemo as soon as possible. Does all this sound like normal practice and is it normal to have this constant fear inside. I just don’t want to see him in pain and I need to be stronger then I am right now for him and for our three teenager boys.

    Hi Bex. Everything that’s happened to him is normal practice. His team do this all the time and are very good at it. 
    He will likely have radiotherapy after his induction chemo which aims to reduce the size of the cancers enabling the RT to do its job. 
    It’s not an easy ride. The treatment is challenging but be assured that HPV driven oral cancer responds well to radiotherapy. 
    There are a couple of new people here this morning and you could dip in their threads too. 
    Stay with us. No question is daft and somebody here will have  an answer 

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below 

    https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com 

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

    Community Champion badge
  • H I Bexx sorry you’ve had to find it on this forum. We’ve all been in your position it’s the waiting and the fear of the unknown,as a plus point. HPV tumours do respond extremely well to treatment. Mine was HPV 16 positive I had tonsil cancer with seven affected lymph nodes now 5 1/2 years and happily live in my life with us on here keep off doctor try to remain calm it’s not easy once you get a treatment does fall into place and well. I’ll help you wherever we can .

    Hazel 

    Hazel aka RadioactiveRaz 

    My blog is www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com  HPV 16+ tonsil cancer Now 5 years  post treatment. 35 radiotherapy 2 chemo T2N2NM.Happily getting on with living always happy to help  

  • All your husband has gone through is a replica of my journey 

    I am 6 months post treatment and clear. A few side effects to cope with but ok. 

    The anxiety is perfectly normal - is an awful time 

    Be kind to each other and get lots of rest. There is also a carers forum where you can talk to people in your position which may help too. I'm sure it can feel lonely for you. 

    Its hard but you will get to the other side - my advice - accept all the help you are offered. 

    Lots of luck 

    Rachel 

  • Hi Bexx, I can understand exactly every emotion you are feeling right now.  My husband found a lump pre Christmas and at the beginning of the year he was advised it was cancerous.  It's been the worst waiting period ever, however somehow it is now well into February and we have got through the last 7 weeks.  We have had the CT scan and PET scan and my husband had his tonsillectomy yesterday with biopsies taken and now we just have to wait again for these to be analysed.  So much waiting!  The consultant was amazing, so helpful and so very positive and they are looking at curable treatment.  I feel so much that I have to be strong for my husband and family, and most times I am, however the fear of the future and the unknown can be so scary and I find myself very tearful at times. 

    This forum is amazing and I am so, so thankful to have found it.  My husband has always been our rock and so fit and healthy - seeing him struggle will be so difficult, however I know the outcome is so favourable compared to other cancers and that is all I am clinging on to just now.  

    Take care x

  • Hi Bethie

    T2N1M0 tonsil cancer HPV+ diagnosed Feb 23  Chemoradio finished June 2023

    Waiting is hard no doubt about it...treatment is tough...some tolerate it better than others....but there is light at the end of the tunnel...keep on top of the pain relief  meds ...use them as needed....do not suffer in silence....weekends? make sure you have plenty of everything....if things go wrong it is usually when support is sparse....make sure you have 'you time' carers need to be on top of their game....use this forum.... keep Dr google to a minimum.

    Best of luck

    Peter

  • Thank you all for your responses. I feel a bit more at ease after reading people’s different outlooks and journeys.

    I think the more you read on the internet the more you become anxious - terrified in fact of what might be. 

  • Hi Bethie,  it’s nice to hear someone else going through a similar story. I just have these horrid moments where I just break down with emotions. Have they said about your husband having induction chemo? 

    Take Care,

    Becky

  • Hi Hazel, I happened to come across your blog last night what a journey you have been on. Can I ask were your affected lymph nodes on the same side as the primary site? 

    See this makes me nervous I don’t understand why these cancerous nodes are flaring up in the opposite side now. I’m also apprehensive and dread the results of his PET scan what else may they find. My mind just doesn’t switch off at the moment. 

    thanks,

    becky

  • Hi Becky, I know, the slightest bit of sad news on the TV or radio will have me in tears and I feel very emotional. It seems like everyone else is going on with their lives as normal while ours have just been turned completely upside down.  Yes, they mentioned radiotherapy combined with chemotherapy as it is in 2 of his lymph nodes.  Really just want to get started treatment as soon as we can but I know there is so much to get right before they start.  Take care