'STAY POSITIVE' - is it me?

The other one I get all the time is “It’s marvellous what they can do nowadays though, isn’t it?” 
True, I know, but still something of a stock response. . 
Carry on whingeing Trev. It does us all good to let off some steam from time to time

Hi Trev Thanks for the post  as it helps us all. I havnt a scoobie whats going on somedays but according to the hospital people I am doing well . So I suppose if they say I am doing well that cannot be bad. I havnt told anyone except my partner and 2 kids and 3 customers about having cancer etc. I suppose I think its my business and dont want that Oh sorry blah blah. This whole thing is like a roller coaster or a dream , nightmare , I dont know but I have been grateful even getting cancer as its change my life Big Time. Regarding feeling scared I think we have all been there and give it a fleeting thought sometimes or in my case sometimes dwell on it for ages. Both my brother in laws have it and have been fighting it for God knows how many years. Something to keep in mind Trev is there is always someone worse off than you. Please Carry on Trev All the Best  Regards Min   

Trev

I commented the other day that I hate emails that start with "I hope you are well"; especially when they know I have cancer.

I do believe in being positive, but that is only an element of getting through the treatment. I plan for the worst - that does not mean I am a pessimist, just that I plan to succeed no matter what  - and when the outcome is better, that's great and the journey is easier than I anticipated.

I certainly don't believe this is a fight.  It may be a struggle at times, but it is about taking control and managing something which is now part of you for the rest of your life. 

Sometimes the "alternative" may be better than the cure - although in many cases it is not.  I looked after my mum when she said she did not want any more treatment; she had enough.  I respected her wishes and made her journey the best I cold possibly make it - as did many others caring for her.  I am doing the same for my uncle right now.

And talking about the "alternative" why do people have to use euphemisms?  I've got cancer and I may die because of it.  No you have the "big C" and you may not be lucky; or sum such words...

It is OK to rant - and it is also OK to tell those who mean well that they are wrong.  The true friends will take that on the chin and remember.  Those that are not worthy will disappear back where they belong!

Hi Trev

My personal favourite phrase that I get fairly often from a friend is 'keep smiling'. I know she means well, but really!  What if I don't feel like smiling.

Lyn

I think its easy to speak before putting your brain in gear , Personally  I have been like that all of my life . All The Best Regards  Min 

Rant away Trev,

My most annoying one is my sister in law, telling me her husband got over it so can I.  He was 20 years younger than me and cured with a single operation.  Most of the time I find solace in humour but that does not mean that there are days when it doesnt get to you.  Example today brushed my hair and it has started falling out due to the chemo, been quite tearful all day.  But went on line looking at wigs, spoke to my wonderful daughter who sent me links for a Tam o Shanter and just had to laugh.

Love

Mo

Here you are Mo 

I found you a hat. 

I know how you feel about trying to stay positive. I have an area that needs to be monitored. Even though I’ve been told it is more than likely to be changes from treatment they cannot rule out cancer. But the last lot of scans I had back in November did show some improvement, so when discussing surgery with the skull base surgeon the best course of action was to just keep monitoring by having scans every so often and if things change then this will be removed. 

I know I have made the right choice as prior to this conversation my oncologist wasn’t keen on this as the scans were showing positive signs. I battle with myself and if I do bring up anything I’m unhappy about I get told I’m in a better place than I was before treatment. I worry about any little niggle I get, and whether cancer will end up somewhere else. I suffer a little with anxiety as the road to diagnosis was a long road and I’m angry at myself at times that I didn’t push my concerns hard enough prior to this. It was already bad enough worrying whether I would get cancer when I hit my 40’s. Did hit me for six when I was told I had cancer. 

Mo,

You're having it so tough.  Big virtual hug 

Hi Everyone I’m new here & already I feel better for ready your comments. 
my boyfriend is currently going through the 6 week radiation treatment & once a week chemo for base of tongue cancer. I get asked what’s his chances of survival? I find this so upsetting. If nothing else I’m getting from this journey it’s learning what not to say to others going forwards.