Hi All
Just a quickie- one of the things i am constantly reminded to do during this ...journey is to 'stay positive', and im chided if i show any of my fears or worries and god help me if i even consider discussing the risk of metastasis.
The idea seems to be that you beat cancer with positivity! which i find silly as it insinuates those who died from it weren't 'positive enough'
I know people mean well, but i find it increasingly annoying and difficult to respond to, at times i am depressed, scared etc and dont want to be positive! and at times i want to discuss risks of complications not blindly pretend nothing can go wrong
Is this just me? What phrases have people used on you that you find frustrating?
As an aside this site has been a genuine life saver for me, because although i wish noone on this site had ever had cancer -everyone here gets it.
Trev
Hi Redrum. Welcome to our little community. Stick with us. We are a friendly and knowledgeable bunch eager to help. Put your mind at rest at least for yourself. His cancer is eminently curable and his survival is nobody else’s business. Struth! Aren’t some folk so tactless. Leave Google stats alone. They are out of date and alarmist. My oncologist quoted 95% to me and I’m happy with that.
I am 2 years clear of RT fir the same thing and living well.
All the best
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below
https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com
Hi, Trey
It's the difference between sympathy and empathy. The people here can empathise with each other and probably say things on the forum that we couldn't say to our friends and family. Like being able to discuss metastasis.
I am a really positive person naturally but I think it was my unrelenting competitiveness that got me through the dark days, the total need to win and not be beaten even though there were days when I could have happily curled up and died.
That being said, if I had not had my wife with me along the journey then I don't think I would have been as strong but she was neither sympathetic nor empathetic she played on my will to win and would tell me to pull myself back up and fight because she knew that's what I'd do.
The phrase that got me was "I can't believe how well you look". What were people expecting me to look like? An extra from The Night of The Living Dead? I actually looked awful, like someone had made waxwork of me and then put it in a warehouse fire. But I suppose it's better than them telling me I look like poop 
