Had consultation with two nurses a doctor and two consultants. I knew i would find out what my options would be at this appointment so have been waiting with trepidation. The out come not good. The surgon said an operation to remove the bulk of tumor would take two surgons a full day to perform, would need reconstructive surgery, plus would be a good chance of dieing during operation. If it was successful it would only extend life a bit so he said surgery was not an option in the circumstances. The radio theapy doctor said that was an option but only to extend life, not a cure. The down side is she said, because the tumor was behind my eye then that eye would probably go blind and there was a good chance the other eye would be effected to the point where it would lose most of sight. I cant face the time i have left being blind. I do not believe however long it extended my life it would not be worth it being blind. The consultant said i was just unlucky to have such a rare cancer. He said that in Britain in a year cases would only be in single figures. There is a guy in a manchester cancer hospital working on an experimental treatment for this type of cancer and they would send my case file to him. so it seems my only hope is that experimental treatment. My sister burst into tears and lost it. Even though she had been to all appointments with me. She is a treasure. I knew from the reactions of everyone i had seen that the outlook was not at all good. I have told my daughter but her reaction means i have not told my son yet. It is difficult for me to see my children go to pieces, as it would be for anyone. I just could not face it twice in one day. I know it will be difficult for anyone to reply to this but writing this and knowing it will be read by this group has been cathartic for me. Love and strength to all of you.
Hi Peter
I'm so sorry that the news has been so devastating for you and your family. I have only the one grown up daughter who lives in Germany and I have to admit that I have largely kept her in the dark about my cancer. She has recently been keen to read the blog but I haven't given her the link as I know it would upset her.
However, finding yourself in your situation is completely different, I appreciate.
Sorry but I am making a few presumptions here but if your family knows you have cancer could you ask your sister to tell your son at least the bare bones of it which will make it easier for all of you.
I can understand how you must be feeling. I'm not trying to sound trite but all of us have been there even if only in our imagination so of course you need to concentrate on the quality of the life you have left. I hope you find some peace with all of this and that you are in the loving arms of your family and that maybe something more can be done for you to share that peace with the ones who love you.
I'm happy to chat privately if you feel you want to at any time.
Good luck, you'll be in my thoughts
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
