Squamous cell carcinoma

So sorry you find yourself in such a situation

Youve come to a good place with lots of support

To be truthful I would be guided by your medical team. They are in the best place to help. 
Can you ask them for all the relevant facts? It’s not a decision you can make otherwise. 
Maybe ask if they consider surgery curative or will you need RT as well?

I had a base of tongue cancer with no lymph node involvement. Surgery wasn’t an option so I had RT. It’s no walk in the park but doable. 13 months on I’m well and cancer free. 

Talk to your doctors and your nursing team and good luck. 

Thanks very much

Family are really important at this time. My kids are older but have been really supportive and given me strength.  I'm sure your daughter will do the same for you - and give you something to aim for as part of your recovery plan.

I've had 2 neck dissections they were not really painful during recovery.  Some soreness from there the nerves have been disturbed, but it slowly gets better.  Paracetamol worked wonders for the neck wounds.

I had my tonsils removed and biopsies on my tongue.  The tongue - although I do recognise it is not as severe as you sound like you are proposing - was actually OK.  The tonsils; that's another story.  But it sounds like yours will not be touched.

I'm waiting to hear about radiotherapy.

What I can say on the operations is that the pain really did go for me after around 10 days.  Yes, some residual soreness, but nothing I'd worry about.  Others will tell you their experiences of radiotherapy.

Everyone will support and help you as best as they can on here.  Whatever you choose, good luck.

Hi Like beesuit says be guided by your team. I had tonsil cancer with several affected lymph nodes I had 35 radiotherapy and 2 chemo sessions. Surgery wasn’t an option for me as the lymph nodes were too close to spine well one of them was. 

Either way yiuve come to the right place lots of us in here are oonly  too happy to help, don’t bottle things up talk to family ,your daughter will be stronger than you realise 

keep in touch 

Hazel x

Some great replies so far Mummy13, I always went with what my consultant thought was the best way forward, I have had three separate cancer operations to do with head and neck and to be honest I did not find them that painful if there was pain present I was given painkillers to help. I think operations tend to be more uncomfortable than painful as you are stuck in bed to begin with, as you say ICU. Of course, we are all different and have different pain thresholds and recovery rates. I was 48when I had mine done and I'm not far of 60 so I'm doing pretty good, I found it best to not to look too far ahead and just take each day, week as it came and deal with any problems along the way. 48 was classed as being quite young for head, neck and mouth cancer and have a great chance of recovery. If surgery does not work there is also the option of radio or chemo so all is not lost. My son was about the same age as your daughter and he was brilliant with it, my daughter was a year older but they were excellent during the whole time, just sitting in the background helping and doing things. 

            It's not an easy journey and most of us have got through it ok on here and live to tell the tale, you will be in good knowledgeable hands throughout with experienced consultants and surgeons performing miracles, best wishes with you decide to do, take care.

                                                                                                Chris x

Hi I have just been through my treatment for a similar problem..I had chemotherapy and radiotherapy and am now 14 months post treatment...its a tough treatment but I was given all clear in July. You will get fantastic treatment...ignore Google as it's full of speculation..I found taking a friend or partner to consultant  meeting is best as you will only hear what you want to hear.. I told my friends and family which I found really helped...

Good luck 

Chas 8

Goodness me , that’s some choice to make!!

Everyone has given you great advice already. My hubby had tonsil cancer, diagnosed Oct 2019, and didn’t have surgery as it wasn’t possible. We were just guided by the consultant at all times as they know more than us. He had 30 radio and 6  chemo and finished nearly 9 weeks ago. 

Even now he asks me what he should do about certain ailments / problems and I have to say I don’t know as I’m a Civil Servant and not a doctor! 

It’s tough when we’re given choices. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time and initially the consultant said I could either have a lumpectomy or a full mastectomy, the choice was mine. I really didn’t know what to do and was actually glad when an MRI showed there was more than one tumour so it had to be a mastectomy. 

As for kids, I have 2 boys, 18 and 21, both at home. I’ve shielded them from some stuff i.e. our feelings etc. however they’ve been great with dog walking, bed stripping and just generally stepping up a gear. Ken isn’t their dad but when he asks them to do something they do it far quicker than if I ask them too

I wish you well at the start of your journey and hope you get some good guidance from your team.